Honkai: Star Rail: I Can Fix This Gender-Bent World — Chapter 33

Chapter 33: The Big Sister with the Cold Legs

Marching through the wind and snow was no simple feat.

Stelle, however, seemed utterly captivated by the white world beneath her feet. She lagged behind the group, her steps slow and deliberate. Suddenly, she crouched down, her movements careful as she reached out and scooped a handful of snow into her palm.

She packed the crystalline flakes together, forming a small, dense ball. Lowering her head, she stared at it, the stark white light of the snowfield reflecting in her curious, silver-grey eyes. She didn’t throw it or engage in any other childish antics; she simply watched it, her focus absolute. After a long moment, she opened her hand, letting the fine particles of snow rustle through her fingers before immediately scooping up another handful.

“Ahem. Stelle, try not to wander off,” Chen called out, glancing back and offering a gentle reminder.

Hearing his voice, Stelle looked up at him. She obediently stood and shuffled closer to the group, though her gaze continued to drift toward the pristine snowbanks lining their path.

Just then, Dan Heng, who had been scouting ahead, abruptly raised a hand, the sharp gesture signaling for everyone to halt. His eyes were fixed on a snowdrift just ahead and to the side. Its shape was peculiar, sculpted by the wind into something that didn’t quite belong. The mound was more bloated than the surrounding drifts, its edges looking suspiciously unnatural.

“There,” Dan Heng said, his voice low as he pointed. “There’s something under the snow.”

“Something?” March 7th immediately perked up, standing on his tiptoes to peer over Dan Heng’s shoulder. “Is it a frozen animal? Or maybe buried treasure?”

Chen followed Dan Heng’s pointing finger, and a powerful sense of déjà vu washed over him. This familiar scene… the frozen world, the suspiciously protruding snowdrift, the classic ‘hide your head but leave your tail exposed’ style of concealment… Could it be? The grand entrance of the infamous Iron-Leg Uncle… or, as he should probably be called now, the Cold-Legged Big Sister?

Recalling his indignant inner monologue from just moments before, he stared at the snowdrift, and a mischievous idea sparked in his mind.

‘What if I just pretend I don’t know and walk right over?’he thought.’Given how slippery Sampo is, she definitely won’t die. And who knows? Maybe I can even unlock her icon for the compendium while I’m at it.’

At the thought, Chen’s face remained a mask of placid indifference, but deep inside, a devilish urge to give it a try began to bubble. He feigned ignorance of Dan Heng’s warning and offered no response to March 7th’s excited chatter.

Instead, he simply lifted his foot and continued walking as if nothing had happened, his path just so happening to lead directly over the suspicious mound of snow.

“Chen, be careful,” Dan Heng warned, his voice sharp with caution.

“It’s fine,” Chen replied with an airy wave of his hand, his pace never faltering. “Probably just a rock.”

Then, under March 7th’s puzzled stare and Dan Heng’s wary gaze, he stepped right onto the peak of the bloated snowdrift.

His boot didn’t meet the expected softness of packed snow. Instead, he felt a strange, yielding resistance underfoot, something with a surprising amount of elasticity.

“Ouch—!!”

A sudden, sharp cry of pain—clearly a woman’s voice—erupted from beneath his foot. The loose snowdrift exploded outward in a dramatic spray.

Amidst the shower of white, a slender figure sat up clumsily, sputtering and brushing snow from her face. A tight, short leather jacket hugged her graceful curves, and below it, she was wearing a miniskirt that barely grazed the tops of her thighs. Most shockingly, her exposed calves, braving the sub-zero temperatures, were clad in a pair of sheer black stockings. Snowflakes landed on the silky fabric and slid right off, hardly a single one managing to stick.

Chen looked down, his brain short-circuiting for a moment.

‘Holy crap, she’s even wearing black stockings!’he thought, dumbfounded.’In Jarilo-VI’s weather, which is dozens of degrees below zero, you’re wearing black stockings in a snowdrift? What are you planning to do, use a Seduction Jutsu on the Fragmentum monsters?’

At that moment, the woman who could only be the gender-swapped Sampo was clutching her back—or perhaps her shoulder, right where Chen had likely stepped—with one hand. With the other, she frantically brushed the snow from her hair and clothes, revealing the face of a young woman, her features contorted in a mask of pain and surprise.

She looked up, her eyes meeting Chen’s downward gaze. Her eyes then darted to March 7th and Dan Heng, who had both instantly adopted combat stances, and finally to Stelle, who was observing the scene with wide-eyed curiosity.

The practiced, effortless merchant’s smile she tried to muster didn’t quite settle on her face before it twisted from a fresh wave of pain.

“Hiss… This young man, and your friends,” she began, sucking in a sharp breath as she tried to force her voice back into its usual slippery, affectionate tone. “Your way of saying hello… is quite unique, isn’t it? You nearly crushed my business… er, no, you nearly snapped my old bones in two.”

Chen looked down at the woman rubbing her shoulder. Seeing this Big Sister Sampo grimacing in pain while still remembering to put on her professional fake smile was both hilarious and exactly what he had expected.

Before he could formulate a response, her eyes darted around, and her performance immediately kicked into high gear. Her brow furrowed dramatically as she clutched the stepped-on area with both hands, letting out a series of pained gasps.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch… This is really… My shoulder has an old injury, you see. It usually just aches a little, but after that step from you, young man, I’m afraid the bone might be dislocated…”

As she spoke, her pitiful gaze swept over Chen before landing on March 7th, who looked like the easiest mark in the group.

“In this frozen wasteland, seeing a doctor isn’t easy, and medicine is so expensive… and with this delaying my work and costing me my earnings, well, I have several mouths at home waiting to be fed…”

March 7th fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. His eyes widened as he looked at the agonizing Sampo, then back at the innocent-looking Chen. His tone grew uncertain.

“Ah? Is it really that serious? Chen, your step… it didn’t seem like you used much force, did it?”

Dan Heng remained expressionless, merely crossing his arms and watching the scene unfold with a cold, detached gaze. He was clearly unmoved by such a low-level performance.

Chen chuckled inwardly, but on the surface, he put on a cooperative look of apology and distress. “This… I’m really sorry, Big Sister. I didn’t do it on purpose. You see, out here in the middle of nowhere… we don’t have much of this planet’s currency on us. How about you tell us where the nearest town or clinic is, and we’ll take you there to get checked out?”

“Oh, no need for all that trouble!” Sampo replied instantly, as if she had been waiting for that exact line. “You folks look like kind people, and it doesn’t seem like this was intentional. How about this? I’ll take a bit of a loss here, and I won’t ask for much…”

She held up three fingers and waved them theatrically in front of Chen’s face.

“Just this much. For medical expenses and lost wages. I’ll find a way to get through it myself, so I won’t have to trouble you all any further.”

She quoted a price that would sound reasonable to a newcomer but was, without a doubt, utterly exorbitant. Her extortion was so smooth, so practiced, that Chen almost wanted to applaud. This gender-swapped version of Sampo was every bit as greedy and skilled an actor as the original.

The look of apology remained plastered on Chen’s face, but a glint of cunning flashed in his eyes.

“Oh? Big Sister, from the way you talk… have you seen outsiders like us before?” he asked, his gaze locking onto Sampo’s eyes, which were still trying their best to look pained. “I only said we didn’t have this planet’s currency, but you, Big Sister… you don’t seem surprised at all that we know this is a planet, nor are you curious about what other kinds of currency we might use.”

Sampo, who was still clutching her shoulder and groaning, froze for half a second. For a fleeting, almost imperceptible moment, the pained expression on her face faltered.

But almost instantly, that slippery smile stuck itself back on like a mask, becoming even more radiant than before.

“Oh my, young man, what are you saying…” She took the opportunity to lower her hand from her shoulder, as if the intense pain had been miraculously cured without medicine. She stood up, gracefully brushing the last of the snow from her clothes. “I make my living on these snow plains; I’ve seen all sorts of strange guests coming and going! People who claim to have fallen from the sky, popped out of a rock, or arrived in a giant iron bird… what kind of story haven’t I heard?”

She leaned in a little closer, lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, as if sharing a great secret. “To tell you the truth, a few years back, there really was a group of people dressed somewhat like you, going on about planets and such… but they didn’t have quite as ‘warm’ a way of greeting me as you do, young man.”

“Is that so?” Chen remained noncommittal, neither pressing for details about this mysterious group nor addressing the matter of compensation. He simply smiled. “Then it seems you’re quite the well-informed person in these parts, Big Sister.”

Beside them, March 7th was growing more and more confused. He looked from Chen to Sampo and muttered under his breath, “Why do I feel like there’s more to this than meets the eye…”

Dan Heng took half a step forward, closing the distance just enough to intervene at a moment’s notice without appearing overly aggressive. He quietly observed the verbal chess match unfolding between the two.

Meanwhile, Stelle remained standing a little further back, a silent observer. Her curious gaze moved back and forth between Chen and this strange big sister who had appeared out of the snow, her words flowing as if her tongue were slicked with oil.