English
Indonesia
Chinese (Simp)
Japanese
Korean
Spanish
Portuguese
French
German
ArabicGenshin Impacti: This Priest is Cringe, But She's Also Unbeatable — Chapter 36
Chapter 36: The Maid Knight’s Hardcore “Cleaning”
Clad in silver-white armor, the “Maid Knight” Celeste gripped the door-sized Favonius Greatsword, her stance planted firmly upon the earth.
Compared to the four-to-five-meter-tall, hulking frame of the Giant Goblin, she still appeared petite. Yet, the aura radiating from her—as steady as a mountain and as unyielding as bedrock—made her the obvious new center of the battlefield.
Selene stared at her sister’s magnificent knight armor, a perfect fusion of elegance and durability, carefully detailed with engravings of roses and silver filigree. She then glanced down at her own rather plain, standard-issue light armor, which was now marred by a fresh set of scratches.
The corner of her mouth couldn’t help but twitch.
“Wait a second…” she muttered, a note of disbelief in her voice. “Are you the knight, or am I?”
“How is it that your slapped-together ‘Maid Knight’ getup looks way cooler and more professional than my actual, genuine knight armor? Is there any justice in this world?”
The live stream chat immediately flooded with comments.
“Hahaha, so true.”
“The sister’s roast is spot on!”
“The professional knight just got completely crushed by the Maid Knight’s drip!”
“It’s a cosmetic-based suppression! Nothing you can do about it, sis!”
The Giant Goblin’s murky, oversized eyes fixed on the tiny creature who had suddenly changed outfits and whose entire presence had transformed. An instinctual sense of threat made it irritable, and the raw anger of being challenged overrode what little reason it possessed.
It let out another guttural “Wuuuuuluuu!” roar, its massive club whipping up a foul wind as it swept across with enough momentum to pulverize everything in its path.
Facing this overwhelming attack, Celeste did not retreat. Instead, she took a single step forward.
An uncontrollable sense of power and a deep desire to protect surged through her body. Almost involuntarily, using a cool yet gentle voice that was not her own, she recited a line that made her toes curl in secondhand embarrassment.
“The weight of rock… is reassuring.”
The live stream chat exploded.
“Wait, what did she just say? The weight of rock is reassuring?”
“I think the official line is ‘The weight of rock is restful’!”
“That line combined with the Maid Knight armor is just too bizarre!”
“Hahahaha, I’m dying! Reciting such a wholesome line in the middle of a deathmatch!”
“I get it now. A sense of security comes from sheer tonnage! 😉”
“Jokes aside, though… that line paired with that stance is weirdly cool!”
The moment the words left her mouth, Celeste was wailing frantically in her mind. ‘Reassuring my ass! Who the hell wrote this script?! This isn’t a comic con! This line, with this maid outfit, is a public execution!’
Cringe aside, the effect was undeniably real.
The rich Geo elemental power in the air responded to her call, instantly condensing around her into an incredibly solid shield of rock that flowed with an amber luster—the Breastplate.
At the same time, she gripped the Favonius Greatsword with both hands. She neither retreated nor dodged, but met the sweeping club with an upward swing that was both supremely steady and impossibly fierce.
“CLANG—!”
A metallic explosion, even more deafening than when Selene had blocked the blow earlier, ripped through the air.
The resulting shockwave spread out in a perfect ring, flattening and shredding all vegetation within a dozen meters. The audience watching in the live stream square instinctively covered their ears, but their eyes remained glued to the screen, unwilling to miss a single moment.
On screen, the unstoppable club had been forcibly caught by the seemingly cumbersome Favonius Greatsword.
A shower of brilliant sparks erupted where the sword and club clashed.
The ground beneath Celeste’s feet cracked, splintering into a web of fissures, but the arms holding the massive sword were as steady as a rock formation. Her posture only sank a few inches under the immense force. The Breastplate shield rippled violently, shimmering under the strain, yet it stubbornly refused to break.
“Hiss—!” A collective gasp swept through the crowd of viewers.
“She blocked it?! She took it head-on?! She wasn’t sent flying?!”
“Was this maid raised on a diet of mountains? What kind of monstrous strength is that!”
“A thick shield, immense strength, and she’s wearing a little skirt armor… this whole aesthetic is breaking my brain!”
“The main point is her strength! She actually didn’t lose in a direct contest of power against a Giant Goblin?!”
“Giant Goblin: Is this club of mine a fake?!”
The Giant Goblin itself was stunned. It felt as if its club had just slammed into an ancient, immovable mountain. The violent recoil sent a numbing shock up its thick arms. It stared down in disbelief at the “little bean” who had completely halted its charge.
Celeste wasn’t about to wait for it to recover.
The instant she parried the club, she flexed her wrists, using the goblin’s own momentum to press the Favonius Greatsword downward. Twisting at the waist, she caused the very ground beneath her to shudder.
The heavy greatsword whistled as it tore through the air, transforming into a silver-gray arc that slashed viciously toward the Giant Goblin’s relatively slender ankles.
“I will mind my maidly manners.”
Another line escaped her lips, completely out of her control.
Celeste’s soul screamed in desperation. ‘Shut up! Stop reciting the lines! This has nothing to do with manners! My reputation is ruined!’
The live stream chat was in hysterics.
“Minding her manners while hacking someone to pieces?! What kind of devil-maid is this!”
“Manners: a term referring to the act of chopping one’s enemy into bits?”
“Giant Goblin: Thanks, but no thanks! These manners are a bit too heavy for me!”
“Pfft—!”
A sickening, muffled sound of tearing flesh was accompanied by the Giant Goblin’s pained howl.
The broad blade of the Favonius Greatsword easily tore through the goblin’s dark green hide, which was as tough as old tree bark, carving a gruesome wound that went deep to the bone. Dark green blood gushed out like a fountain.
“It’s working! She broke its defense!” Selene was so excited she nearly threw her shield away. “Sister! Cut its hamstrings! Let it know the price for not respecting your ‘manners’!”
She was perfectly fulfilling her role as the hype-woman and comic relief commentator.
The Giant Goblin winced, its massive body stumbling from the pain. Shocked and enraged, it suddenly raised its other foot, bringing it down like a falling pillar in an attempt to crush her.
But Celeste had already sidestepped the attack, moving on pure combat instinct. As she dodged, the Favonius Greatsword swung out again, precisely slicing across the calf of the goblin’s supporting leg and adding another bloody gash to its collection.
Like the steadiest of craftsmen or the most patient of hunters, she began to circle the irritable Giant Goblin, expertly exploiting its slow turning speed and the long intervals between its attacks to dodge and strike again and again.
The Favonius Greatsword seemed to weigh nothing in her hands. Every swing carried the force of a landslide, and every slash left a deep, bleeding mark on the Giant Goblin. The Geo elemental shield, her Breastplate, provided unmatched security, allowing her to boldly close the distance and attack without fear.
, while the shield was active, a faint, warm current fed back into her whenever the greatsword struck its target, continuously restoring her stamina and healing the minor concussive damage from the earlier impacts. It turned her into a tireless combat fortress.
The scene became deeply bizarre, yet utterly shocking.
A Maid Knight, not even two meters tall, was systematically hacking away at a four-to-five-meter-tall Giant Goblin.
The monster roared again and again, its club swinging wildly and shaking the earth, yet it was always evaded by that agile figure or blocked and countered by that solid rock shield and fearsome greatsword.
The wounds on its body multiplied. Dark green blood stained nearly half its form, and its movements grew noticeably sluggish and erratic from the pain and blood loss.
“Who… who exactly is the monster here?” someone muttered in the live stream square.
“Maid Knight? That’s clearly a humanoid Gundam!”
“The last transformation into the Geo Archon Empress was a magic tank. Is this one a physical tank crossed with a Berserker?”
“Just how many ‘Heroic Spirit’ forms does this Lin sister have? Each one has a completely different style, and every single one is ridiculously strong!”
“Giant Goblin: The script is wrong! What happened to the promised curb-stomp battle? How did I become the one getting stomped?!”
Inside the official observation center, there was dead silence.
The field officer stared at the battle unfolding on the screen, a spectacle that defied all their assessment models. After a long moment, he finally spoke, his voice dry.
“Record… Target Celeste is displaying a third ‘Heroic Spirit Possession’form. Codename is tentatively’Maid Knight’.”
He paused, then added, “Re-evaluating her win rate against the Giant Goblin… increased to sixty-five percent.”
That number sent a wave of unreality through every observer who heard it.
Back on the battlefield, Celeste brought her sword down in another heavy slash, this time striking the Giant Goblin’s wrist and forcing it to drop its massive club.
The Giant Goblin let out a shrill, piercing howl as its remaining reason was drowned by the severe pain and utter humiliation. Its eyes turned completely blood-red. An abnormal steam began to rise from its skin as its muscles bulged even further—it was going completely berserk.
“Sister! It’s about to go nuclear!” Selene shouted nervously, though she couldn’t resist a final jab. “Was it over-stimulated by your ‘manners’?”
Celeste naturally sensed the dangerous shift in her opponent’s aura. A trace of seriousness finally flashed in her emerald eyes.
She couldn’t drag this out any longer. The Noelle card’s transformation time was limited, and her own stamina was continuously draining. Once the shield shattered or the transformation ended, they would be in extreme danger against a berserk Giant Goblin.
Taking a deep breath, she raised the Favonius Greatsword high with both hands.
On the blade, a rich, brown-yellow light that seemed to hold the very essence of the earth began to gather at a frantic pace. The surrounding Geo elemental power was drawn in, surging toward the blade like a hundred rivers returning to the sea. The greatsword transformed into a miniature brown sun, emitting a heavy, heart-stopping fluctuation of power.
She poured all her remaining strength, as well as her innate understanding of the power of “Geo,” into this single, decisive strike.
The Maid Knight’s gaze locked onto the Giant Goblin’s massive head, which was now wide open and unprotected in its berserk state. With all her might, she issued her final, cringe-inducing declaration.
“I will mind my knightly demeanor!”
Behind her, Selene expressionlessly facepalmed. “Sister, does anything about what you look like right now have anything to do with the word ‘demeanor’?”
The live stream chat went completely insane.
“Demeanor?! The demeanor of hacking a giant with a sword the size of a door?”
“I am totally sold on this gap moe! It’s perfect!”
“Hahahaha, this is the best comedy battle of the year, hands down!”
“Giant Goblin: Can you please show me some respect?! I’m trying to have a dramatic power-up here!”
The brown-yellow energy gathered like a raging tidal wave upon the Favonius Greatsword, and Celeste’s aura climbed to its absolute peak.
Before the echo of her declaration of “demeanor” had even faded, she had already transformed into a brown-yellow meteor, carrying the power to split mountains and crack stone as she slashed fiercely toward the Giant Goblin’s head.