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Genshin Impacti: This Priest is Cringe, But She's Also Unbeatable — Chapter 35

July 19, 2026 Calculating...

Chapter 35: Transformation: The Maid-Knight

Boom—!!!

The heavy mace, screaming as it tore through the air, slammed viciously into the dark silver face of the shield.

A deafening blast erupted on impact.

A visible shockwave radiated outwards, churning the fallen leaves and dust within a ten-meter radius into a swirling vortex that shot toward the sky.

Selene felt an irresistible, terrifying force crash against her, a mountain flood of pure kinetic energy surging from the shield. Even with her Paladin deflection techniques pushed to their absolute limit, her feet still carved two deep furrows into the earth. Her momentum was only halted after she crashed backward, snapping several small trees as thick as a man’s thigh.

“Cough… I’m fine!”

Bracing herself with the shield, Selene’s face was deathly pale and her chest heaved, but she had, miraculously, sustained no real damage. She stared down in shock at the [Immovable Mountain] in her hands. The shield’s surface was still pristine, without so much as a faint white scratch to mark the blow, though her entire arm was numb and felt ready to burst from the aftershock.

‘This shield… is just too OP!’

The Giant Goblin was equally baffled by this “lump of iron” that simply refused to break. It shook its massive head, its murky eyes locking onto Selene as a roar, even more furious than before, ripped from its throat.

Celeste instantly appeared at her sister’s side. A quick scan confirmed Selene was unharmed before her gaze settled, heavy with gravity, on the berserk monster.

She sighed, a sound of pure helplessness, and addressed the enraged Giant Goblin in a flat, explanatory tone.

“Big guy, we really are just passing through.”

Giant Goblin: “???” (Though it couldn’t understand the words, it sensed the provocation and grew even angrier.)

In the live broadcast plaza, the audience, who had just been sympathizing with the team that had been forced to withdraw, erupted into collective laughter once more.

“Hahahaha! The classic returns! The ‘passing through’ meme is late, but it always arrives!”

“Giant Goblin: I don’t believe a word of it! You troublemakers always say you’re just passing through!”

“The Paladin girl: If I said I was forced to pass through, would you believe me?”

“Big sis’s explanation deals low damage, but the psychic insult is off the charts!”

“Giant Goblin: Are you even trying to be polite? Do I not have any dignity?!”

On the battlefield, the Giant Goblin had no concept of communication. It fixed its sights on the puny mortal who had blocked its full-force strike. Its massive mace rose high again, now carrying an even more berserk and vicious momentum. With the power of a falling meteor, it crashed down toward Selene.

“Dodge!” Celeste barked.

She grabbed her sister, who looked determined to tank the hit again, and unleashed the full speed granted by the Blessing of Wind. Her figure blurred into a phantom, barely dragging Selene out of the attack’s devastating range.

BOOM!

Where the mace landed, the ground collapsed into a massive crater, terrifying spiderweb-like cracks spreading wildly in all directions.

“Did you see that?” Celeste said, her voice sharp and serious. “The power gap is too large. Blocking techniques have their limits in the face of absolute power. You have to dodge!”

She had seen it clearly. While her sister’s high-quality shield was indestructible, the transmitted force of the impact could still rattle a person’s insides to death. A few more hits like that, and the shield would be fine, but the person holding it would be gone.

Having missed its strike, the Giant Goblin fell into a complete rampage, swinging its mace indiscriminately in wide, sweeping arcs and thunderous smashes. For a time, the forest itself seemed to tremble as trees splintered and fell in droves.

Relying on her keen perception and extraordinary speed, Celeste moved like a ghost, weaving through the gaps in the monster’s berserk attacks. Her pink staff would occasionally tap out—not to attack, but to precisely deflect a piece of flying shrapnel or a broken tree limb, clearing a safe path for her sister to follow. The “Spear Intent of Rock” she had recently comprehended was now being used to stabilize her own center of gravity, and the results were outstanding.

Selene had learned her lesson. She no longer attempted to tank the hits head-on, instead using the sturdiness of her new shield for small-angle blocks and deflections, focusing most of her energy on evasion.

The battlefield instantly transformed into a thrilling game of survival. The Giant Goblin was a tireless machine of destruction, while the two sisters were dancers on the edge of a blade—one slight misstep, and they would be smashed to pieces.

Outside the Domain, at the official observation center.

The main screen was locked onto the chaotic battlefield. Several observers watched with serious expressions, their fingers flying across data pads.

“Target confirmed. Codename: ‘Forest Destroyer.’ Giant Goblin, level evaluation Lv.30. Physical defense: A+. Strength: S-. Threat level: High.”

An observer rattled off the report with practiced speed.

“This is one of the most troublesome elite monsters in the ‘Dark Forest’ Domain,” another added. “Normally, it requires at least three well-coordinated, fully-equipped squads working in tandem. High-defense classes would need to take turns drawing aggro while high-output mages find weaknesses for a sustained assault just to have a chance at taking it down.”

An observer with a field officer’s insignia on his shoulder crossed his arms, watching the two sisters dodging for their lives on the screen. He shook his head slowly.

“Record: Three squads have already withdrawn because of this monster,” he stated. “Current examinees, Celeste and Selene, have been forced to engage.”

He paused, his tone laced with an irrepressible astonishment. ” that the Paladin examinee’s shield is of extremely high quality. It successfully blocked a full-force strike from the Giant Goblin without sustaining any visible damage.”

At that moment, an observer focused on equipment analysis suddenly spoke up. “Report! The origin of that shield has been found! It was a gift from an Earth Spirit!”

“Earth Spirit?” The field officer raised an eyebrow. “You mean those elemental creatures guarding the ancient forging workshops deep within the Domain?”

“That’s right.” The equipment observer quickly pulled up a data panel. “Records show that these two sisters triggered a hidden event, helping an Earth Spirit defend against a slime tide. In return, the Earth Spirit custom-forged equipment for them. This shield is one of the pieces.”

He zoomed in on the image of the shield in Selene’s hand, pointing to the complex patterns etched into its surface. “Look, this is a typical Earth Spirit forging style. The runes contain the blessing of the earth. No wonder it can tank a strike from a Giant Goblin. Earth Spirit products are a guarantee of quality.”

A flicker of surprise crossed the field officer’s eyes, but his expression quickly returned to one of grim professionalism.

“Even so, the combat evaluation model shows that the probability of them defeating the target head-on… is less than three percent. The Giant Goblin’s vitality and recovery rate far exceed the damage they can deal at their current level.”

He let the weight of that statement hang in the air.

“The best strategy is to use its slow attack animations, provide alternating cover, and disengage from the battle with everything they have. If they can evacuate safely without using a Life-Saving Talisman, it would already be considered a top-tier tactical execution.”

His voice was transmitted clearly through the internal channel, reaching the ears of every observer in the center.

“This isn’t working!”

Celeste narrowly dodged another fierce smash, her breathing already becoming ragged.

‘Our DPS is basically zero against this thing’s armor,’she thought, her mind racing.’If we keep dragging this out, we’ll be the first to run out of steam, guaranteed!’

Her judgment coincided exactly with the official observers’ conclusion. The Giant Goblin’s defense was despairingly thick; their attacks were no different from tickling it, while any random graze from its mace could leave them severely injured and eliminated from the exam.

Her gaze swept rapidly over the Giant Goblin’s thick neck, its lumbering joints, and those murky, violent eyes.

‘There has to be a weakness. Or… I have to create an opportunity!’But facing a monster of this level, any risk could be fatal. Running away was also a problem; the opponent’s movement speed was faster than her sister’s, and there was no advantageous terrain nearby they could use for cover.’Then…’Celeste watched the Giant Goblin let out another roar as it charged toward them again. She gritted her teeth.’So what if it’s social death! It’s better than getting yeeted out of the Domain by this big lug!’

“Selene, get ready to cover me!”

Celeste retreated rapidly, creating a safe distance, while simultaneously issuing a command in her mind to the character card shining with a purple halo in her system space.

Upon hearing her sister’s words, Selene’s eyes erupted with an astonishing radiance, her excitement even greater than when she had received the shield that morning.

“It’s coming?!”

She instantly understood. Without a shred of hesitation, she met the monster’s charge head-on with a [Sacred Shield Impact]! She wasn’t trying to damage the enemy, only to create a momentary obstruction—to buy those precious few seconds for her sister.

‘Use… the Noelle character card!’

In an instant, a soft yet heavy, brownish-yellow light shot into the sky, completely enveloping Celeste.

Within the light, the priestess robes on her body dissolved inch by inch, replaced by a gorgeous suit of Maid-Knight armor. Silver-white plate and dark gray cloth intertwined, accented by a flowing skirt armor. A head of soft, ash-blond short hair fell to her shoulders, and her emerald-green eyes flickered with a light that was both determined and gentle.

A massive, door-sized greatsword, almost as tall as she was, materialized out of thin air, held firmly in her slender yet powerful hand.

This transformation was completely different from the previous ones with Venti and Zhongli. Perhaps because Noelle herself was a sturdy, agile Damselette knight, Celeste’s tall figure, when clad in this armor, didn’t have the awkward embarrassment of “wearing a little brother’s cosplay outfit.” Instead, she looked like a valiant and powerful battlefield rose.

Although the skirt armor, rich with maid-like frills, still made her cheeks burn slightly, the overall style was unexpectedly harmonious. It even exuded a unique kind of coolness.

However, the character card’s “passive” was still very much in effect.

The moment the transformation was complete, Celeste’s body (Noelle version) uncontrollably straightened its back. Her left hand moved to the armor on her chest in a crisp salute as she spoke, her voice clear and gentle, yet filled with an unquestionable sense of dedication and responsibility.

“As you wish.”

Celeste: ‘!!!”Shut up! Who told you to say the voice line?! And what is this overwhelming sense of maid-like duty, like I’m ready to start cleaning at a moment’s notice?!’

Selene, who was at the front holding off the Giant Goblin with her shield, heard that familiar voice speak an unfamiliar line and glanced back in surprise.

When she saw her sister’s brand-new look, the light in her eyes practically caught fire.

“There’s even that line? That’s actually one I haven’t heard before!”

# Genshin Impacti: This Priest is Cringe, But She's Also Unbeatable

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