Genshin Impact: A Guide to the Unofficial History of Teyvat — Chapter 13

Chapter 13: How is the Archon Forgetting His Wallet So Similar to You, Consultant?You're reading this on the wrong site. This chapter was translated by Elysian Reads and posted for free at elysianreads.com — if you're seeing it anywhere else, it was copied without permission. Read it at the source so the people who actually did the work get the credit.

Zhongli sat in perfect silence, his golden eyes fixed on the seventy-seventh Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Hu Tao was currently pacing the room, speaking with boundless eloquence as she perfectly merged the plotlines of two volumes of “unofficial history” into a single, astonishingly coherent conclusion. For a rare, fleeting moment, the oldest Archon in Teyvat simply did not know how to respond.

A strange look of astonishment, heavily laced with helplessness and a dry sense of amusement, surfaced in those ancient, stone-like eyes that had witnessed millennia of shifting tides.

He slowly raised his hand, his long fingers unconsciously tracing the rim of his warm teacup as he seemingly weighed his next words.

After a heavy pause, he finally spoke. His voice remained as steady as bedrock, though it carried the faintest, barely perceptible sigh. “So… that is the case. To cross-reference two entirely separate works of fiction and arrive at such a self-consistent conclusion—the imagination and connective ability of common rumors truly are astounding.”

His gaze fell once more onto the two small booklets resting on the mahogany table, lingering particularly on the bold ink of the author’s pen name: Li Xin.

“This Mr. Li Xin,” Zhongli murmured softly, his tone perfectly flat, “is quite… careful in his conjectures regarding the Archon’s daily life.”

Hu Tao nodded so vigorously her twin-tails bounced against her shoulders. “Right, right! I also think this author is an absolute talent! To write about the Geo Archon, that stuffy old man, in such a… such a relatable and grounded way! Hey, do you think we should try to track this author down for a chat? We could pay him to write some promotional short stories for the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor! Something like, The Indissoluble Bond Between Wangsheng Funeral Parlor Consultant Zhongli and the Boundary of Life and Death? It would definitely sell out across the city!”

Zhongli’s hand, currently raising the porcelain cup to his lips, paused almost imperceptibly in mid-air.

“…Director,” he said, slowly finishing the slightly cooled tea in his cup to buy himself a fraction of a second. His voice remained perfectly calm. “It is better to deliberate on such business ventures further before acting rashly.”

Seeing the Director so engrossed in the literary gossip, the Ferrylady standing quietly by the door offered a polite smile. Reaching into her dark sleeve, she magically produced yet another freshly printed booklet. The title emblazoned across the cover was even more startling than the last—Regarding the Matter of the Geo Archon Being a Synthesized God Who Caused His Wife’s Death.

“Director, Mr. Zhongli, there is also this one circulating,” the Ferrylady offered. “The title is… a bit too direct, perhaps, but the content is actually quite similar to the last volume, just far bolder! Right now, half the population of Liyue Harbor is reading the two books side-by-side, claiming they confirm each other and supplement the missing historical details!” The young woman’s face showed an irrepressible desire to share the gossip, making it glaringly obvious she had read the scandalous material multiple times herself.

“Ooh, ooh, ooh! A sequel?! No, wait, a sister volume!” Hu Tao’s plum-blossom eyes lit up instantly. She snatched the booklet from the Ferrylady’s hands and eagerly flipped past the cover page. “Regarding the Matter of the Geo Archon Being a Synthesized God Who Caused His Wife’s Death… Now this is a title! Tsk, tsk, is this ‘Li Xin’ really not afraid of being invited by the Millelith for a nice, long cup of interrogation tea?”

She quickly scanned through the crisp pages, clicking her tongue in absolute wonder as she read. Every few seconds, she let out dramatic gasps of sudden realization or extreme shock, fully invested in the narrative.

“Wow… it’s written in so much more detail here! It says ‘Mora’had a particularly unrestrained personality and would boldly declare’I want it all’whenever she saw something she liked in the markets. It claims that’s exactly why the’Jueyun Chili’ Lord acts the way he does now!”

Hu Tao flipped another page, her eyes widening. “Heavens… it also says here that ‘Kex’was originally a silent, reserved figure, and only became slightly more… er, talkative after losing’Mora’? Was it so he could see the world and speak more on ‘her’ behalf?”

Suddenly, she choked on a laugh, her cheeks flushing slightly. “Pfft—This, this part actually describes in graphic detail exactly how ‘Mora’ merged her Divine Soul into his body! And it’s actually a bit spicy! This author is way too bold!”

Hu Tao was utterly thrilled as she read, occasionally slapping the wooden table in pure admiration, then covering her mouth to stifle a loud cackle. Finally, unable to contain her excitement, she shoved the open booklet directly into Zhongli’s hands, tapping a specific paragraph with her finger.and support the real translator.Read at elysianreads.com This is a stolen translation. You're reading this on the wrong site. This chapter was translated by Elysian Reads and posted for free at elysianreads.com — if you're seeing it anywhere else, it was copied without permission. Read it at the source so the people who actually did the work get the credit.

“Consultant, Consultant! Look at this passage right here! The author actually managed to tie the entire lore together! It says that precisely because the Archon is a ‘Synthesized God,’he possesses both Mora’s unrestrained nature—referring to him saying’I want it all’when paying for goods—and Kex’s absolute composure—referring to him remaining completely unfazed when he realizes he cannot actually pay for them! It even claims this isn’t causing his wife’s death, but achieving’eternity’ through symbiosis! This line of thinking! This Director is thoroughly impressed!”

Zhongli’s gaze obediently followed her slender finger, landing squarely on the freshly inked words describing his own fictional romantic tragedy.

His handsome expression remained a mask of calm, yet the broad back that had sat steadily through thousands of years of war and peace seemed to straighten imperceptibly for a fraction of a second. The long fingers holding his teacup tightened slightly, the knuckles turning faintly white against the porcelain.

Deep within those golden eyes that saw through the ages, something seemed to quietly fracture, only to be instantly covered by a thick layer of ancient dust, restoring the tranquil silence of a deep, bottomless pool.

Zhongli slowly inhaled. The soothing fragrance of the Qingce tea filling the air seemed entirely inadequate to calm that subtle, internal tremor.

He remained completely silent for a long moment, seemingly reorganizing his vast intellect to counter this increasingly absurd brand of “historical research.”

Finally, he chose a relatively safe, academic angle. His voice betrayed absolutely no emotion. “To attribute numerous… largely unrelated behavioral characteristics to a fabricated, tragic origin story, and then provide it with such a plausible explanation. This is indeed worthy of common folk creation. For the sake of narrative completeness and dramatic appeal, it is… hmm, quite ingenious.”

He gently placed the teacup back onto its saucer, producing an extremely faint, precise clinking sound.

“However, the theory of a ‘Synthesized God’ is far too shocking and deviates significantly from the commonly accepted Divine Status of a God. Director, when reading such entertaining literature, it is best to strictly discern between truth and fabrication.”

Hu Tao, however, completely missed the almost imperceptible strain in her consultant’s deep voice. Instead, she nodded vigorously. “Mhm, mhm, I understand the difference between truth and fabrication perfectly well! But as long as the story is good, it works! Besides, look how much everyone loves it!”

She pointed a thumb toward the open window, where the faint, buzzing chatter of the bustling streets drifted into the parlor. “Right now, all of Liyue is passionately debating whether the Geo Archon really had a ‘Mora’ as his tragic first love! This Li Xin is simply a marketing genius! What he writes is infinitely more entertaining than those dry, serious Records of the Archon’s Divine Feats!”

“Look at the timeline. How long have these books even been out? They’ve already spread through every teahouse and alleyway in all of Liyue Harbor! Everyone must really love reading this kind of scandalous drama!”

She rubbed her chin thoughtfully, her plum-blossom eyes darting around as the gears of a new business scheme began to turn, forming the idea of poaching this literary talent. “So, a genius! Consultant, if we could find this ‘Li Xin’ and pay him handsomely to write Wangsheng Funeral Parlor Romantic Episodes—A Record of the Consultant Who is Learned in All Things but Always Forgets His Wallet, riding the Archon’s coattails, wouldn’t our monthly performance increase tenfold? No, a hundredfold!”

Hu Tao paused, blinking as a sudden thought struck her. She tilted her head, looking at the man sitting across from her.

“Speaking of which, how is the Archon forgetting his wallet so similar to you, Consultant?”You're reading this on the wrong site. This chapter was translated by Elysian Reads and posted for free at elysianreads.com — if you're seeing it anywhere else, it was copied without permission. Read it at the source so the people who actually did the work get the credit.