Honkai Star Rail: My Death Feeds Their Madness — Chapter 71

Chapter 71: The Weight of Survival

Over the past two years, Jingliu had deliberately kept her distance from peers her own age. Many people in the camp had offered her kindness, but she found such gestures entirely unnecessary.

The casualty rate among the Cloud Knights on active expeditions was staggering. A comrade fighting shoulder-to-shoulder with you one morning could easily be reduced to a mangled corpse on the battlefield by dusk. Having personally witnessed the fall of Cangcheng, having watched her relatives and former Academy classmates swallowed by the abyss of war, she had come to a grim conclusion. Ordinary friendships were a liability. They were nothing more than a cruel prelude to the sorrow of eternal parting.

Her Master was the sole exception.

Kagashi was strong. He would not be torn away from her so easily. And she had to push herself to the absolute limit to catch up to him. She needed to become lethal enough to stand by his side, perhaps even to protect him when the time finally came.

“You want to go on an expedition with me? It is far too early for that.”

Kagashi’s calm voice broke through her reverie. Though she was accustomed to his strictness, the flat rejection still stung. During the long months her Master was away, she had never once slackened her pace. She had grown sharper, faster, deadlier. Among the reserve forces of her cohort, no one could even force her to draw her blade fully. As a Valiant Guard, her Master had access to all the camp records. She had foolishly hoped he would finally be satisfied with her progress.

Kagashi read the quiet disappointment in his disciple’s eyes. He paused, deciding not to completely crush her spirit.

“There are very few who qualify to become Cloud Knight Vanguards. Because of that, the sheer volume of Abominations a Valiant Guard must face far exceeds the number of soldiers they lead.” He paced slowly across the training grounds. “You have drilled for two years. You know the iron rule. Cloud Knights must fight in strict coordination. Breaking formation to charge alone is a death sentence.”

“The Borisin, the Wingweavers, the Serpent Descendants… the raw physical constitutions and combat prowess of these Abominations vastly outstrip ordinary Xianzhou natives and Foxians. They are nearly on par with the Vidyadhara. And the regenerative capabilities of certain Abominations surpass all three major races of the Xianzhou Alliance combined.”

He stopped and looked at her seriously. “If a Xianzhou native were to trigger the Self-Actualization Aspect, their healing would rival even a Borisin lost to Moon Madness. But the cost of that mutation is catastrophic, and it is strictly forbidden by the current laws of the Ten-Lords Commission.”

“The price we pay for a single wound is infinitely higher than what the Abominations of Abundance pay. When you cross blades with them, you cannot afford a single opening. One mistake costs your life, or the life of the comrade covering your flank. Our coordinated formations are the only reason we can defeat such overwhelming numbers. You excel in drills, Jingliu. But some things cannot be forged on a training ground.”

“Please enlighten me, Master.” Jingliu buried her disappointment, her expression turning solemn.

“A killing intent that refuses to be extinguished by fear. A fighting spirit that remains unshaken in the face of death.”

‘Killing intent and fighting spirit…’ Jingliu murmured the words to herself, committing them to memory.

Kagashi continued, his tone heavy with experience. “More than ninety percent of new Cloud Knights freeze when they first step onto a real battlefield and witness the endless, immortal tide of Abominations. That primal fear is unavoidable. That is exactly why fresh recruits are never placed under a Valiant Guard’s command. They must serve under other detachments, surviving enough small-scale skirmishes to harden their nerves. Without that mental fortitude, you would only drag your unit down. Your hesitation would break the formation.”

“Here in the Yaoqing, you have surely heard of the Qingqiu Guard’s reputation. Joining them requires passing a brutal independent assessment. But as you are now, forget the Qingqiu Guard. Focus on surviving enough deployments with the standard Troops or the Heyu Guard first.”

“You should know…”

Kagashi’s voice trailed off. Silence stretched between them. Jingliu tilted her head, waiting for him to finish the thought, but the quiet only deepened.

“Why did you stop, Master?”

“It is nothing,” Kagashi said softly. “In short, you have passed your adulthood assessment. You will certainly be included in the next small-scale expeditionary deployment.”

“…I understand. What else can I do before we deploy?”

“Naturally, there is preparation to be done. Your previous training intensity will no longer yield results. We must increase the pressure.”

A flicker of genuine dread crossed Jingliu’s stoic face. The sheer torment she had endured at his hands two years ago was burned into her muscles. She wondered if she was about to return to the days of passing out in the dirt.

“…I will follow your arrangements, Master.”

She swallowed her fear. If this was what it took to earn his recognition, she would endure it. The last time he had praised her was during the camp’s tour challenge. If she grew stronger, she could slaughter more Abominations, repaying the immense debt of his guidance. For the next two months of his leave, she would survive whatever he threw at her.

Jingliu braced herself. Yet, when Kagashi handed her the new training manifest that evening, her fingers trembled.

Carry a four-hundred-catty weight. Run six hundred miles at a minimum sustained speed of one hundred miles per hour. Ten thousand sword swings. Precision drills: ten strikes within three seconds, five of which must perfectly hit designated vital points. Flexibility training remained the same agonizing routine.

Then came the new environmental tempering. Prolonged exposure to extreme high and low temperatures. Submerged breath-holding until the edge of asphyxiation. Meditating under the crushing impact of waterfalls. Specialized electrical resistance conditioning. Some Wingweavers could manipulate lightning; standard Cloud Knight armor provided insulation, but it was never enough to fully shield the wearer.

Jingliu was thrust back into a hellish routine, silently cursing her fate while gritting her teeth through the pain.

During the two years Kagashi had been away, she had rarely pushed herself to the point of unconsciousness. Now, on only the second night of his return, her vision swam with black spots before she collapsed into a dead, dreamless sleep. She had not even finished the enhanced endurance run. Failing the first task meant the rest of the day’s schedule was a cascading failure.

Over the course of the next day, she fainted from sheer physical exhaustion five separate times. Each time, she woke up, dragged herself to her feet, and resumed. The final time, it was Kagashi who knocked her out to prevent permanent muscle damage.

In the washroom, Kagashi prepared a dense, boiling medicinal bath for her body tempering. He stood over the steaming water, suddenly struck by a quiet dilemma.

The girl lying unconscious before him had passed her Coming of Age ceremony. She was no longer the frail, malnourished child he had taken in two years ago. Her figure had softened and curved into that of a young woman. Master and disciple they might be, but the boundaries of propriety could no longer be ignored. Having just returned from months of endless slaughter, his mind had been entirely focused on combat readiness. He had completely overlooked this basic fact.

“Lord Kagashi, my younger sister and I are here to disturb you.”

Three rhythmic knocks accompanied the familiar voice from the corridor. The dilemma resolved itself.

“Come in.”

He had promised to examine Qinghan’s condition upon his return, but right now, he needed Mianxue’s help. Before the sisters could even offer a proper greeting, Kagashi tasked Mianxue with undressing the unconscious Jingliu and lowering her into the medicinal bath.

“Lord Kagashi, you may administer the needles now,” Mianxue called out softly.

The acupuncture points were concentrated along the spine and shoulders, avoiding any severe breach of modesty. Mianxue and Qinghan stood by, watching the procedure. Qinghan’s eyes widened at the state of the silver-haired girl.

“Lord Kagashi… why is Jingliu so severely injured?”

It was obvious even to an untrained eye. Every bone in Jingliu’s limbs bore micro-fractures, and deep, ugly bruises of stagnant blood and qi mottled her pale skin.

“The extreme physical trauma forces the body to absorb the medicinal properties more aggressively, strengthening her foundational physique,” Kagashi explained, his hands moving with steady precision.

Mianxue watched the brutal results of the training, her hands clenching. She hesitated before speaking. “Could I… also undergo this training?”

“You cannot,” Kagashi replied without looking up. “This specific method loses its efficacy once the body passes a certain developmental age.”

‘…’ A deep, heavy shadow of regret flickered through Mianxue’s eyes.

Kagashi paused, letting out a faint, quiet sigh. “I understand your desperation to become stronger. Almost every Cloud Knight who survived the fall of Cangcheng carries that same hunger. But once the optimal window for body shaping has closed, there are simply no shortcuts left.”