Honkai Star Rail: My Death Feeds Their Madness — Chapter 34

Chapter 34: Kagashi, You Have Overstepped Your Bounds

Across different points in the timeline, a shared flush of crimson painted their cheeks.

Present-day Ruan Mei stared at the Remembrance interface, her breath catching in her throat. She had never expected to witness herself commanding her own student with such brazen authority. Recalling Kagashi’s supposedly boundary-crossing actions from back then… a chilling possibility pierced her mind. A heavy, suffocating premonition took root in her chest.

She glanced at the reception progress. Though she felt as if she had drowned in these fragmented years for an eternity, only a fraction of a moment had passed in the waking world. She forced her surging emotions down and kept watching.

“Alright. No need to massage anymore.”

Hearing his teacher finally speak, Kagashi felt as though a heavy shackle had been lifted. He had endured the quiet torment for half an hour. He carefully released her delicate feet, resting them gently against the cushions, and waited for the dismissal.

“Come here, Kagashi…”

“Does Teacher have any other instructions?”

Thinking nothing of the soft command, he stepped closer to the head of the bed.

Without warning, Ruan Mei reached out. Her slender arm hooked around him, pulling him forward with startling strength until his face pressed firmly against the soft warmth of her chest.

It was as if a thunderclap had shattered the quiet room. Kagashi’s thoughts dissolved into absolute static.

“Mmm… Teacher, you… you’re drunk…”

“I am very sober.”

“I… I can’t breathe, Teacher!”

Hearing his muffled plea, her grip loosened just enough. He gasped for air, but before he could retreat, a soft, damp warmth pressed against his cheek. His newly recovered senses flatlined.

This time, however, survival instinct kicked in. He snapped his head up, only to find his teacher’s face hovering inches from his own. Her eyes were glazed with a misty, intoxicating haze. Her lips, moist and flushed, parted slightly, exhaling a sweet, warm breath against his skin.

“Kagashi is so good…” she murmured, her voice dripping with a saccharine weight. “Teacher will give you a reward now…”

“No, Teacher, you can’t kiss here…!”

He pushed his hands against her shoulders, pouring every ounce of his willpower into holding her back.

“If Teacher says it is okay, then it is okay.”

Ruan Mei swept his arms aside with an irresistible, terrifying force, pinning him against the mattress.

Without another word, she descended.

Dark strands of hair tangled together, a dizzying fragrance of plum blossoms and warmth lingering between their lips. The bath towel quietly slipped away, pooling on the floor.

By the time Kagashi finally regained the right to draw a full breath, the hours had blurred into an unmeasured eternity. The night’s encounter crashed against his gentle, still-maturing heart, leaving an indelible mark.

Ruan Mei, however, possessed zero awareness of the storm she had just unleashed. She simply reached out and patted his head.

“Alright. The reward is finished. Go and complete the task I assigned.”

“…Understood. Please rest early…”

Kagashi scrambled away, fleeing the room as if chased by a predator. The elegant scholar left behind simply smiled, the corners of her lips curling upward as she drifted into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

Silence.

A suffocating silence.

Present-day Ruan Mei stared at the memory, her mind entirely blank. She found it impossible to reconcile this image with herself. How could her intoxicated state harbor such a drastic shift in personality? How could she act with such terrifying boldness?

Several lingering doubts had just been violently answered, yet two glaring questions remained.

First, why would her subconscious drive her to do such things to her own student the moment her inhibitions vanished?

Second, how on earth did she get drunk in the first place?

In the past, she could consume half a jar of Plum Blossom Wine without feeling the slightest tremor in her mind. But this time… a dark suspicion clawed at the edges of her thoughts, though she dared not confirm it yet. She had no choice but to dive deeper into the Remembrance.

The next morning in the memory.

Ruan Mei stretched her limbs languidly, the morning light tracing the flawless curves of her bare skin. She walked to the wardrobe with her usual measured grace and dressed herself. She often slept without sleepwear, so the absence of garments upon waking raised no alarms.

Stepping out into the hall, she found Kagashi emerging from the kitchen, a tray of warm breakfast in his hands.

“…G-Good morning, Teacher.”

Ruan Mei offered a faint nod. She took her usual seat, picking up the glass of plain water waiting for her. It was a picture of absolute, mundane normalcy.

As she ate, she noticed the boy’s gaze darting toward her, heavy with unspoken tension.

“What is wrong?”

“…Teacher… do you still remember what happened last night?”

Last night?

Ruan Mei paused, sifting through her pristine memory. The birthday banquet had ended. She had bathed to soothe her fatigue, returned to her room, and slept until dawn.

“I remember everything. Why?”

“…It is nothing.”

A fleeting shadow of helplessness and deep confusion crossed Kagashi’s eyes.

Ruan Mei, her gaze lowered to the pastry in her hand, missed the fracture in his expression entirely. She had no idea what storm raged behind the boy’s quiet demeanor, nor did she comprehend the crushing weight her words—’I remember everything’—carried in his heart.

Ruan Mei had always favored the plum blossom wine Kagashi brewed, indulging in a few cups periodically. For a long time, the chaotic events of that night did not repeat. At most, she would command her student to massage her shoulders, knead her back, or tuck her cold feet against his warmth.

This fragile equilibrium held until her birthday the following year.

Kagashi brought the sealed jar to the table, his movements hesitant.

“Teacher, this is the four-year-aged Plum Blossom Wine. Please… do not drink too much at once.”

“Ever since I developed a tolerance, I have never been drunk.”

The boy offered a quiet, helpless smile. Over the past year, his teacher had actually succumbed to intoxication multiple times, yet he had never once exposed her. One could not reason with a drunkard, and confronting her while sober would only invite unnecessary humiliation.

Soon, the majority of the jar vanished.

The usually cold, detached scholar leaned against the table, that familiar, dangerous haze clouding her eyes once more.

“Kagashi, come here…”

“Shoulder massage or foot massage, Teacher?”

The sequence of events mirrored the previous year with a terrifying ninety percent accuracy. But this time, the boy miscalculated his own strength. Once pinned beneath her, the situation spiraled entirely out of his control.

“Teacher… you cannot… you have to take responsibility for this…”

“Have I not already taken responsibility for you since the day I brought you back?”

“But we are—”

“Be good. Listen to me.”

“…Okay.”

A trembling breath. A sudden jolt as a crimson flush spread across pale skin. Before either realized, the night had bled into the darkest hours before dawn.

“This…”

Present-day Ruan Mei staggered backward, her composure shattering. She crashed into the control console, her hand flying up to tear the electrodes from her forehead.

The Remembrance reception severed with a harsh mechanical whine.

Had she been using Kagashi’s crude prototype, such a violent disconnection would have scrambled her cognition and destroyed her sanity. Fortunately, her own compiled program accounted for human error, shielding her mind from the backlash.

But she could not care less about her safety.

The memories—foreign, yet undeniably hers—began to bleed into her own consciousness, slotting into the empty spaces she had unknowingly left behind. The scenes her brain had forcibly filtered out due to the sheer shock of intoxication were flooding back. Every touch, every word, every breath told her one absolute truth: it had all actually happened.

Minutes bled away as she stood trembling in the silent laboratory. Once the violent tremors in her hands subsided, Ruan Mei, a woman who prided herself on absolute emotional control, reached out and pressed the electrodes back against her temples.

She had to see the end. She had to know the whole truth.

The next morning. The memory resumed.

It was entirely identical to their usual routine. Ruan Mei sat at the dining table, quietly eating her breakfast. Well, there was one minor deviation—the pastries were exceptionally delicious today.

“What is this?”

“Plum-soaked soybean cake. It is a new recipe I developed. What do you think of the taste, Teacher?”

“Very good.”

The sweetness lifted her mood considerably. She did not even notice the faint, rare smile gracing her own lips.

“Teacher, last night, your birthday… do you remember it?”

“How could I not remember? Kagashi did very well. Teacher will give you a reward.”

“…Mhm.”

“…”

In the present, Ruan Mei squeezed her eyes shut, her posture slumping in absolute defeat.

Another year passed in the blink of an eye.

“Three-year-aged Plum Blossom Wine. Teacher, try it and see how it differs from the four or five-year-aged batches.”

“It is not as thick. I prefer the mouthfeel of the three-year-aged one.”

“Then I will brew the three-year-aged one from now on.”

“Mhm. Come a bit closer.”

Kagashi did not overthink the command. Operating on pure, conditioned habit, he reached out to take his teacher’s smooth, delicate ankle.

In the present, Ruan Mei watched the memory unfold.

Astonishment. Doubt. Reflection. A deep, chilling frown.

In the span of two seconds, a tempest of emotions violently cycled through her eyes before she finally spoke the words that would seal their tragedy:

“Kagashi, you have overstepped your bounds.”