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ArabicGenshin Impacti: This Priest is Cringe, But She's Also Unbeatable — Chapter 22
Chapter 22: The Zero-Dollar Shopping Trip Hits a Snag
Fueled by the fury of utter humiliation and a firm resolve to conduct a “zero-dollar purchase,” Celeste kicked the crumbling gate of the goblin “castle” wide open.
Boom—!
The rotten wooden door exploded into a shower of splinters.
Selene followed a half-step behind, her shield raised and her breathing steady. She was a coiled spring, ready to charge into the heart of the enemy.
The moment they crossed the threshold, however, both sisters froze.
It was as if they had stepped into another world entirely.
Outside was a comical shack cobbled together from rough logs, stinking mud, and scavenged scrap. Inside was a natural cavern of impossible scale.
Uneven rock stretched out beneath their feet, and from the ceiling hung a forest of jagged stalactites. Droplets of water clung to their tips, catching some unseen light and glistening like tiny jewels. The walls themselves were plastered with large patches of strange, glowing moss that bathed the entire cavern in a soft, mysterious white light.
A damp, subterranean chill washed over them, carrying the distinct, musky scent of wet earth and minerals. It was a stark contrast to the stifling heat of the dense forest they had just left.
But the most bizarre part was the warped sense of space.
From the outside, the footprint of this so-called castle was, at best, that of a large shed. Yet the cavern before them was vast enough to hold hundreds of people, with countless tunnels of varying sizes branching off in every direction, their mouths gaping voids that swallowed the light.
The interior far exceeded the physical dimensions of the exterior.
“Th-this… what is this place?” Selene’s mouth hung slightly agape. She reached out a hand to touch the slick, damp rock wall beside her, feeling its cold, unyielding surface.
‘Outside, it’s a shantytown special, but inside, it’s a five-star tourist-trap karst cave? And it comes with built-in spatial expansion tech?’Celeste’s brow furrowed into a deep line.’How the hell did this pack of green-skinned potatoes manage this?’
The burning anger in her chest was doused by the eerie sight, replaced by a cold, prickling vigilance.
She whipped her head around to look back at the entrance.
The crooked wooden door was gone.
In its place was a solid, seamless wall of rock, standing cold and silent, as if their dramatic entrance moments ago had been nothing more than a shared hallucination.
The “door” had vanished.
“Sister… the door is gone!” Selene noticed it too, her voice instantly tightening with tension. She rushed to the wall, slamming her shield against it with a heavy thud.
The rock didn’t even tremble.
“Wh-what’s going on? Is this a ghost wall?”
Celeste strode over to the wall, a wisp of holy light wreathing her fingertips as she traced the stone surface. The texture, the structure, the flow of energy—it was all undeniably real.
“It’s not an illusion,” she said, withdrawing her hand. Her tone had become unnervingly calm. “The space has been altered. Or… we were teleported somewhere else, and that ‘door’ was a one-way ticket.”
She raised her pink staff and tapped it lightly against the rock.
Thud!
The dull, solid sound and the heavy recoil that vibrated up her arm confirmed her suspicion. This wall was unimaginably thick.
“It seems the ‘procurement’ plan is on hold for now,” Celeste’s voice turned frosty. “Our new priority is finding a way out.”
[Ding! You are trapped in an unknown, mysterious space. The exit has disappeared, triggering the exploration mission: “Castle Mystery”!]
[Mission Requirements: Explore this location and find an exit or uncover the truth.]
[Mission Rewards: Elation Coins and random rewards will be distributed based on exploration completion.]
[Host, finding fun in the unknown is the true path to joy! (Although Aha thinks that look of utter frustration on your face right now is far more amusing.)]
Celeste’s expression remained a perfect mask of indifference as she mentally muted the system that so clearly loved to watch the world burn. She refocused her entire attention on their surroundings.
The cave was deathly silent, the only sound the rhythmic drip… drop… of water falling from the stalactites into unseen puddles, each splash echoing through the vast, empty space.
“Sister, where do we go now?” Selene clutched her shield, her gaze darting nervously between the main, cavernous tunnel ahead and the smaller, light-swallowing passages that branched off from it.
Celeste crouched, her eyes scanning the ground. The rocky floor was covered in a thin layer of damp mud, which was churned with a chaotic mess of goblin footprints. Most of them, however, pointed in the same general direction.
“We follow the tracks,” she decided, pushing herself back to her feet. “The path of least resistance. Places goblins frequent either hold clues… or they lead straight to their nest.”
With their guards raised, the two sisters began to carefully make their way down the main passage. Smaller caves periodically appeared on either side of the tunnel, but most were empty, containing nothing but piles of moldy hay and animal bones picked clean.
The deeper they went, the more obvious the signs of artificial excavation became. Crude carvings began to appear on the rock walls—primitive tally marks or bizarre graffiti of unknown meaning. The damp, mineral-rich scent in the air also grew increasingly pungent.
After walking for about ten minutes, a faint, familiar chatter drifted from around a corner up ahead. But this noise was different—it was louder, more vigorous than the pathetic squeaking of the goblins outside.
The sisters exchanged a look, instantly lightening their steps. They lowered their bodies, creeping forward as silently as a pair of hunting leopards.
Rounding a bend thick with stalactites, the view suddenly opened up into an even larger natural cavern.
In the center of this hall, piled high on a raised stone platform, was a mountain of shiny objects. Among the familiar sequins and bee stingers were countless metallic fragments, colorful stones, and even a few pieces of unpolished magic crystal ore that pulsed with faint energy.
What truly captured their attention, however, were the creatures gathered around the platform.
They had the same green skin, pointed ears, and large noses. They were still goblins.
But these goblins were a world apart from their ragged kin outside who wielded nothing but sticks and bones.
Their bodies were more strong, their muscles bulging with strength. Their eyes gleamed with a mixture of ferocity and cunning. They wore simple but effective suits of hard leather armor, reinforced with polished bone or metal plates over vital areas. They no longer carried broken branches, but cold, gleaming shortswords, sharpened iron handaxes, and even crude crossbows.
Even their movements possessed a discipline—relatively speaking—that the goblins outside completely lacked.
The bracelet immediately fed Celeste the information.
[Forest Goblin Guard Lv. 20 – 23]
[Points: 40 / each]
[Characteristics: Elite warriors of the goblin tribe. Relatively well-equipped, possessing a simple awareness of tactical coordination. Mathematical ability may have increased to a value within 10 (doubtful).]
[Note: Still goblins, but goblins with iron and goblins without iron are two entirely different species.]
Dozens of these goblin guards were gathered around the stone platform. Though still noisy, they weren’t fighting over the treasure. Instead, they surrounded an exceptionally large Goblin Chieftain, who wore a crude helmet embedded with the largest magic crystal shard. They seemed to be awaiting his orders.
The Level 25 Chieftain was waving a heavy-looking steel warhammer, spitting everywhere as he jabbered and barked what sounded like a lecture.
At the far end of the cavern hall, a natural stone staircase led upward. At the top of the stairs sat a heavy, tightly-shut metal door, secured with a simple but massive lock.
“Looks like the treasure—and the way out—are both behind that door,” Celeste whispered, her eyes narrowing with a newfound seriousness. These goblin guards weren’t like the trash mobs outside that she could one-shot with her staff.
Just then, the Goblin Chieftain’s speech seemed to conclude. He waved his warhammer impatiently, and the goblin guards immediately grew restless, scattering in small groups. Some headed toward the side tunnels, while others took up guard posts around the hall.
A few of the goblins’ sharp gazes had already begun to scan the shadows at the cavern’s edge.
“We can’t fight them head-on,” Celeste judged instantly. “There are too many, and their levels are on par with ours. Plus, the terrain is complex. If they scatter, even if I use ‘Summon Heroic Spirit,’ I won’t be able to catch them all.”
Selene took in the scene and whispered, “This looks a bit like the ‘dungeon’ instances I’ve read about—a small Domain within a Domain. It’s probably got multiple levels. We’re… likely on the first floor.”
Celeste nodded. She grabbed her sister’s arm and pulled her back, melting silently behind a massive stalactite that completely concealed their figures.
Her eyes were cold and focused, like an apex predator locking onto its prey.
“We hide first. Wait for them to spread out.”
“Then we take them out, one by one.”
“Whether we’re finding the exit or uncovering the secrets of this place… these annoying green-skinned potatoes have to be cleared out first.”