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ArabicGenshin Impacti: This Priest is Cringe, But She's Also Unbeatable — Chapter 16
Chapter 16: My Trump Card Is Card Drawing, Not Matchmaking Spray!
When Celeste stepped into the adventurer supply store named “Wilderness Survival,” a heavy scent of tanned leather, knife maintenance oil, and dried herbs immediately washed over her.
She was looking down, carefully checking her list as she stood before a wall of energy bars and compressed biscuits, carefully comparing the nutritional information of different brands.
A clear male voice, tinged with a hint of uncertainty, sounded from beside her.
“Celeste?”
She turned her head.
A young man in a sharp-looking combat suit, a longbow slung over his back, was looking at her with eyes full of surprise. It was Chen Yu from the class next door, a fairly well-known genius archer at their school.
“What a coincidence.” Chen Yu smiled, his gaze sliding naturally over the small mountain of basic survival supplies piled in her shopping basket. His eyebrows gave an almost imperceptible twitch. “Stocking up for the upcoming battle? Must be tough coming alone.”
Celeste maintained her composure, her voice carefully neutral. “Yeah, time is tight. My teammate and I are splitting up to be more efficient.”
“That makes sense.” Chen Yu nodded. Then, as if a thought just struck him, his eyes lit up with intense curiosity. “Speaking of which, that ‘Heroic Spirit Summoning’ you used in the arena match was just insane!”
He leaned in a little, his voice filled with genuine admiration. “Our team replayed the footage several times. That gesture you made—the one where you adjusted your glasses—and that line you said…”
A cold dread washed over Celeste, and for a moment, she swore her heart forgot how to beat.
‘Don’t. Please, for the love of all that is holy, do not talk about the glasses-push. And we definitely do not talk about the line.’
“…Our captain said that the gesture, combined with the line, projected this aura of absolute, battlefield-controlling dominance. It’s the signature of a true master.” Chen Yu’s eyes were practically sparkling. “Is your Heroic Spirit the God of Knowledge? Or Wisdom? Maybe Intelligence? It was so damn cool.”
A blush that could rival a signal flare crept up her neck, setting her earlobes ablaze. She clenched her fists so tightly her fingernails dug into her palms, barely managing to suppress the overwhelming urge to cover her face.
She squeezed the words out from between her teeth. “You could say… it’s the embodiment of knowledge being power.”
“Too strong!” Chen Yu praised sincerely. He then leaned forward slightly, lowering his voice as if sharing a crucial piece of intel. “Right, a word of warning. In this Domain, you need to watch out for ‘Plunder Teams’—squads that specialize in ranking up by stealing points from other candidates.”
He paused, his expression growing serious. “Your team is just you and your sister, right? Hmm, that configuration might make you a target.”
The subtext was painfully obvious: in the eyes of others, a tank-and-healer duo was nothing more than a walking, talking delivery service for free points.
“Thanks for the warning. We’ll be careful,” Celeste said, her gratitude genuine.
Chen Yu waved it off, and after a few more polite exchanges, he left with a bundle of specialized armor-piercing arrows he’d selected.
Celeste watched his retreating back, a quiet sigh of relief escaping her lips. Thank goodness he didn’t press for more details about the “Heroic Spirit.”
She turned, about to grab a waterproof sleeping bag from the shelf, only to find a smiling auntie standing at the corner of the aisle. She had no idea how long she’d been there. The woman, clearly the shop owner, was looking her up and down with an all-knowing gaze that sent a fresh wave of dread through Celeste.
The auntie slowly sidled over and gave Celeste a conspiratorial nudge with her elbow. “Little girl, that archer boy just now… he’s quite the spirited young man.”
Her eyes twinkled. “A promising prospect, isn’t he? Is he interested in you?”
The corners of Celeste’s mouth twitched uncontrollably. “Auntie, you’ve misunderstood. We’re just classmates.”
“Oh, my dear, the classmate relationship is the purest! The best foundation for something more!” the auntie declared, her enthusiasm completely undiminished. Her gaze darted back and forth between Celeste and the direction Chen Yu had left, as if she were weaving an invisible red thread of fate with her eyes.
“Didn’t he just call you ‘cool’? And he even went out of his way to warn you about danger! Tsk, tsk. If that’s not a signal he likes you, I don’t know what is!”
Celeste felt a vein begin to throb in her forehead. “No, he was talking about my… combat technique.”
“I understand! Auntie understands everything!” The auntie beamed, her expression screaming, ‘You young people are all so shy, I’ve seen it a thousand times.’
Then, with an agility that completely defied her build, she dove toward a bottom shelf, retrieved a small, pink-packaged bottle, and stuffed it into Celeste’s hand with lightning speed.
“Take it! Auntie thinks we hit it off, so I’ll give you a special internal discount—twenty percent off!” she announced proudly. “It’s the ‘Domain Date Night Special: Super-Potent Bug Repellent and Love-Inducing Fragrance!'”
She gave Celeste’s hand a little pat. “Guaranteed to keep you smelling like sweet strawberries even if you sleep in the wild for three days straight! You won’t add any… olfactory burden… to your little boyfriend!”
Celeste stared down at the spray bottle in her hand. It was covered in hearts, glowed with a radioactive pink hue, and even had a little bow on the cap. She felt as if she’d been flash-frozen.
“Auntie, I really don’t need…”
“Don’t be polite! Girls need to learn to take the initiative!” the auntie advised in the sagely tone of a seasoned veteran of love. With a final, encouraging “Go for it!” look, she turned to greet another customer.
Celeste was left standing there, paralyzed.
She looked at the garish pink object in her hand. Compared to the military-grade compressed biscuits, multi-functional entrenching tool, and tactical tourniquet in her shopping cart, it looked utterly alien. Glaringly so.
It was like seeing a muscle-bound, seven-foot-tall mercenary being forced to wear a lacy Hello Kitty princess dress.
She felt the steely resolve she had just forged to face the Domain crisis shatter, a distinct crack running right through it, all thanks to a bottle of strawberry-scented spray.
She hadn’t even set foot in the Domain, and a new crisis of social death had already ambushed her.
[Ding! Detected Host has fallen into the subtle predicament of ‘being forcibly match-made’and’being pressured to buy a social-death-level product.’ Internal snark levels have spiked intensely. Elation Coins +15!]
Celeste: ‘…”Shut up!’ she screamed internally.’I don’t want these Elation Coins at all!’
However… insect repellent. She really had overlooked that.
And so…
With a completely deadpan expression, she carried the bottle of “Super-Potent Bug Repellent and Love-Inducing Fragrance” to the counter. Meeting the cashier’s steady gaze, she gritted her teeth.
“Checkout.”
She cleared her throat. “This… is for my sister.”
The young man behind the counter glanced at the aggressively pink spray, then at her dignified and solemn priest robes. A perfectly neutral, utterly professional smile bloomed on his face.
“Understood.”
His voice was smooth as silk. “For the sister.”
“That will be 258 credit points.”
Celeste’s heart ached a little more.
Carrying her bags out of the store, she looked up at the sky, which was sliced into geometric shapes by the towering skyscrapers. The road ahead felt impossibly long.
It seemed that besides monsters and plunderers, the Domain was also filled with all kinds of unexpected social death traps.
‘Selene,’she thought, a wave of weariness washing over her.’Your big sister has really endured too much for this family.’