English
Indonesia
Chinese (Simp)
Japanese
Korean
Spanish
Portuguese
French
German
ArabicGenshin Impacti: This Priest is Cringe, But She's Also Unbeatable — Chapter 14
Chapter 14: Threats are Useless; My Dark History is Already on TV
The buzz from the arena competition hadn’t quite faded, yet within the Lin family’s living room, two entirely different atmospheres were already clashing.
One was the lingering festivity from a house full of guests, a warmth that still clung to the air.
The other was a dangerous undercurrent, the surging tide of a dark history about to be weaponized.
Celeste was curled up on the sofa, fingertips gliding across the virtual screen of her Light Computer as she reviewed data from the Domain tournament.
Suddenly, the cushion beside her dipped.
A cloyingly sweet, fragrant breeze attached itself to her with surgical precision.
“Sister~”
Selene’s voice was practically dripping with honey, the final syllable curling up like a mischievous fox’s tail. She nudged the decorative pillow out of her way with her hip and latched onto Celeste’s arm, hanging off her with an affectionate deadweight.
“I found a su~per delicious new ice cream shop!” she chirped. “They have this Dreamy Galaxy series that’s supposed to be so good it makes your soul float away!”
Celeste didn’t even bother to lift her eyelids. Her fingers continued their smooth slide across the light screen as she offered a faint, noncommittal “Oh” to show she was listening.
“So,” Selene began to shake her arm, finally revealing her true objective, “to celebrate my dear, amazing, record-shattering older sister’s triumphant return, how about you treat me to ice cream for a month?”
“No.”
Celeste’s refusal was absolute.
“Your definition of ‘a month’ of ice cream would be enough to turn our house into a mobile cold storage unit. Besides, didn’t you just swear last week that you were going to watch your weight?”
“Hmph, indulging once in a while is just how I recharge my hardworking self!” Selene pouted, finally deciding it was time to play her trump card.
She lowered her voice, leaning in so close her breath was a conspiratorial whisper against Celeste’s ear.
“Sister, do you know what I saw last night? I got up for a drink of water, and I think… I saw a light coming from a certain someone’s room.”
The finger sliding across the light screen froze mid-swipe.
Selene admired her sister’s instantly rigid profile with immense satisfaction, continuing her slow, deliberate attack. She even used her hands for dramatic effect.
“And I think I heard… the clinking sound of metal on metal?”
“And maybe… someone talking? Saying something like… ‘Leave it to me’?”
“Hmm… that voice sounded so familiar, but the tone was so gentle it could practically wring water from the air. So incredibly reliable—completely and utterly different from the violent priestess I usually know…”
Frame by agonizing frame, Celeste slowly turned her head.
Written across her younger sister’s pretty face was a single, triumphant sentence: ‘I’ve got you right where I want you.’
‘I was careless…’
She really hadn’t been able to resist last night. She’d secretly activated the Noelle character card again, wanting to get a better feel for controlling Geo Elemental Power…
And this little gremlin had actually heard her?!
“Hehe.” Selene giggled like a little fox who had just successfully raided an entire chicken farm. She pressed her advantage, her voice a whisper meant only for the two of them. “Sister, tell me, what do you think would happen if I ‘accidentally’ let this slip to Mom and Dad? Or to all those classmates who are dying of curiosity about your ‘Heroic Spirit Summoning’…?”
“If I told them that my dear sister doesn’t sleep at night, but instead wears… hmm, what was it? Armor with lace trim, all alone in her room?”
“And even says things like ‘Leave it to me’ in the tone of a doting, virtuous housewife…”
“What do you think they’d think?”
With every word Selene uttered, the color drained a little more from Celeste’s face.
The social death potential of this was a hundred times more lethal than that video of her pushing up her glasses! Her performance in the arena could be spun as a ‘tactical necessity,’ but if this was exposed as a private hobby…
Wouldn’t that make her a total pervert?!
Seeing her sister on the ropes, Selene decided to strike while the iron was hot. She perfectly imitated the gentle, reliable tone she’d overheard, placing her right hand over her heart and giving a slight nod to the empty air.
“Leave it to me!”
She drew out the words, her performance concluding with a mischievous grin. “Sister, this ‘new Heroic Spirit’ you practice in private sounds very… dutiful. I’ve found its weakness~”
She was already braced to enjoy the sight of her sister’s panicked, humiliated, begging-for-mercy expression. She’d even prepared three different sets of ice cream flavors she planned to order over the next month.
But the scene she expected never materialized.
After a moment of frozen tension, a strange… world-weary calm settled over Celeste’s features. She even offered a faint smile, as if a great weight had just been lifted from her shoulders.
Selene’s heart skipped a beat. A terrible premonition began to bloom in her chest.
Slowly, ever so slowly, Celeste lifted her head.
Her cool expression was devoid of the emotional turmoil Selene had anticipated. In its place was a deep sense of detachment, an emptiness that bordered on total spiritual extinction. Her gaze even held a hint of pity, the kind reserved for someone who has seen through the futility of it all.
She extended a single, slender finger.
And pointed directly at the oversized, floating light-screen TV mounted on the living room wall.
The TV was looping the official highlight reel from the city’s Martial Arts Examination. As if on cue, the footage switched to the climax of the duel between Celeste and Xu Bingbing.
The commentator’s impassioned voice, roaring with enough energy to shatter the sky, echoed through the entire room:
“—AND THERE IT IS! Let’s watch it again in super slow motion! A flash of light engulfs contestant Celeste, and her appearance changes in an instant! Look at that gesture, pushing up her glasses! Listen to that line, dripping with wisdom and pressure! This is, without a doubt, the first public appearance of her mysterious ‘Heroic Spirit Summoning’ ability! This moment will be forever recorded in the annals of Planet Blue’s Martial Arts Exam history!”
On the massive screen, Celeste’s moment of ultimate social death was being replayed from three different camera angles in 4K, ultra-clear slow motion.
Beneath the footage, a line of stylized text, wreathed in digital flame effects, slowly materialized—
【The Birth of a Tactical Master!】
Celeste retracted her finger and turned to her sister, who had petrified into a statue. Her gaze was one of deep finality, the look of someone saying, ‘My soul has already departed. If you need something, just burn some paper money at my grave.’
Her voice was flat, without a single ripple, as if she were announcing a weather forecast that had nothing to do with her.
“Threats are useless, you silly girl.”
She gestured toward her own public execution playing out on the television.
“See that?”
“Panoramic high-definition, slow-motion close-ups, official commentary, and they even added special effects.”
“That little bit of so-called ‘dark history’ you’re holding…”
Celeste’s tone was imbued with the unshakeable calm of one who had weathered the greatest of storms. “Do you really think a person who has already performed an ‘instant costume change plus public roleplay’ in front of the entire city would still be afraid of your little verbal accusation of ‘suspected private cross-dressing’?”
She pointed at the frozen close-up on the TV. “See? I’m an officially certified ‘Performance Art Master’.”
“If you go post on the forums right now saying, ‘Celeste might have a private cross-dressing hobby,’ do you think people will believe you? Or will they just think—”
She paused, vividly imitating the tone of a gossipy forum user.
“‘Oh, you mean that student Lin who summons Heroic Spirits? She must be developing some new ability again, right?’”
“‘Totally understandable, totally. The ways of the strong are beyond us mere mortals! They always have some kind of bizarre cultivation method we can’t comprehend!’”
Celeste even reached out and patted her sister’s stiff shoulder with earnest sincerity.
“Selene, the times have changed.”
“When your sister’s dark history has already become public domain, that little piece of exclusive blackmail you’re holding is completely worthless.”
Selene: “…”
She stared at her sister’s incredibly calm (but internally screaming) socially-dead face on the TV, then back at her sister’s even calmer, ‘I’ve-got-nothing-left-to-lose’ face in front of her. She felt her brain short-circuit.
The royal flush she thought she was holding had inexplicably turned into a three of spades.
“Ah—!!”
Selene let out a pained wail, throwing herself back onto the sofa and rolling around in despair, clutching a pillow to her chest.
“It’s not fair! Sister, when did your skin get so thick?! My ice cream! My Dreamy Galaxy series!!”
Watching her sister resort to her usual dramatics, Celeste finally let out a genuine laugh, giving her a light nudge with her foot.
“Alright, alright, stop acting. A month of ice cream is out of the question, but seeing as you provided… ah, a new idea for generating joy, I’ll treat you to an extra-large one today. Double toppings.”
Selene instantly stopped rolling. Her expression shifted faster than a book page could be turned. “Really? Can I add chocolate pearls?”
“Granted.” Celeste waved her hand magnanimously, then narrowed her eyes, a hint of danger creeping into her voice. “However, about what happened last night…”
“I was sleepwalking! I had auditory hallucinations! I didn’t see anything, and I didn’t hear anything!”
Selene immediately shot both hands into the air as if taking an oath. She sprang up from the sofa with surprising agility and bolted toward her room to change, terrified her sister might take back the offer.
Watching her sister’s ecstatic retreat, Celeste shook her head with a wry smile.
‘It’s true what they say,’ she thought. ‘As long as I’m the first one to give up on having any shame, embarrassment can never catch me.’
Did this count as… a new form of personal growth?
[Ding! The Host has successfully neutralized a potential social death crisis and skillfully pacified the joy target with ice cream. Elation Coins +55! Host, in the world of slacking off… no, in the world of manipulating people’s hearts, you have truly reached perfection!]
Celeste’s smile twitched.
‘Shut up.’