Genshin Impact: A Guide to the Unofficial History of Teyvat — Chapter 72

Chapter 72: If Someone Bullies You, Just Come to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor to Find Me, Hu Tao!

Over a month of furious writing, pushing through a rollercoaster of creative blocks and late-night bursts of inspiration, had finally resulted in this very moment. One sunny afternoon, Lovia brushed the ink from her fingertips and penned the words ‘The End’across the bottom of the page. She had finally completed the full manuscript of’Guoba, the God of Cookery’.

“Finally… finished…” Lovia let out a long, exhausted sigh. She stared at the thick stack of parchment resting on her wooden table, a deep sense of otaku achievement welling up in her chest.

Now came the most critical phase of the operation: delivering the manuscript to Sanyu Bookstore. Given her previous encounter with a certain overly fanatic book fan, Lovia absolutely did not dare to show her face in person. She suffered from severe social anxiety and simply could not handle the overwhelming enthusiasm of the shopkeeper.

As for why she refused to change publishers? For one, she had already established a working relationship with Shopkeeper Sun and dreaded the awkwardness of suddenly switching to a complete stranger. But the more pressing reason was that other bookstore owners likely would not dare to collaborate with her. Lovia possessed a healthy amount of self-awareness regarding the sheer absurdity of her own writing. Only Shopkeeper Sun of Sanyu Bookstore possessed the sheer audacity to print and sell books that arranged wild, unofficial histories about Rex Lapis.

If she handed this manuscript to anyone else, they would probably drag her straight to the Liyue Qixing and call the Millelith to have her arrested for blasphemy.

Therefore, her master strategy remained unchanged: find a gullible child to deliver the package on her behalf, keeping her true identity safe and hidden in the shadows.

However, even to hire a proxy, she still had to venture out into the market to scout for suitable candidates.

Sooner or later, I am going to have to put a kid on a permanent payroll just to run my errands! Lovia pouted, grumbling internally.

She carefully organized the thick stack of paper and tied it up with a sturdy string. Letting out a long breath, Lovia donned her signature oversized hooded cloak, pulling the fabric low to obscure her features. Clutching the manuscript tightly against her chest, she quietly slipped out of her small house and into the sunlight.

Thinking about the inevitable chaos her new story would cause, the corners of her mouth curled up beneath the shadow of her hood.

The streets of Liyue Harbor in the afternoon were even more chaotic than at night. The air was thick with the aroma of street food, the bustling energy of merchants, and the constant, overlapping shouts of vendors peddling their wares. Lovia pulled her hood even lower, moving quickly and deliberately through the shadows along the storefronts. She mentally recited her infiltration route: cross the snack street ahead, turn into the relatively quiet alley leading to Sanyu Bookstore, and then find a clever-looking child loitering at the alley entrance who wouldn’t ask too many questions.

Everything seemed to be going perfectly. She could already see the familiar wooden storefront waiting at the end of the street.

Just as Lovia was secretly congratulating herself and preparing to slip into the alleyway, a figure so lively it was practically bouncing burst into her peripheral vision without a single shred of warning.

A signature brown porkpie hat adorned with a wooden branch, coupled with twin pigtails swaying energetically behind her back. Who else could it possibly be but Hu Tao, the notoriously quirky Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor?

Hu Tao moved as lightly as a phantom butterfly, closing the distance and bouncing right in front of Lovia in just a few quick steps. A voice dripping with cheerful, eccentric energy rang out loud and clear.

“Yo! Little friend!”

Lovia’s entire body went rigid. Her footsteps instantly froze against the cobblestone.

She did not dare to move a single muscle, screaming internally. No way! Again?! How was I noticed this time? Has this cloak already become the official uniform of suspicious persons in Liyue Harbor? Should I try wearing a fake mustache next time?

“With the sun shining so bright, you are dressed up tighter than a freshly wrapped mummy, and you are lugging around a giant package. Are you feeling unwell? Is your face pale? Are you dizzy? Don’t tell me you are suffering from heatstroke!”

Hu Tao clasped her hands behind her back and leaned forward slightly. Her unique plum blossom pupils sparkled with intense curiosity as she sized up this mysterious, airtight person.

Lovia’s heart skipped a beat. This was a disaster. The absolute last thing she wanted was to attract the attention of any acquaintances, especially someone as sharp, enthusiastic, and aggressively helpful as Hu Tao.

She immediately pitched her already youthful voice down into a vague, quiet mumble. “N-no, I am not unwell… Thank you for your concern, big sister.”

She tried to sidestep the funeral director and make a break for the alley.

But Hu Tao clearly had no intention of letting this highly suspicious little fellow escape so easily. She nimbly sidestepped, blocking Lovia’s path once again. Bending down at the waist, Hu Tao tried to peek under the dark rim of the hood, her tone overflowing with dramatic concern.

“Hey, hey, don’t run off! On such a hot day, dressed so tightly and carrying such a heavy load, you must be exhausted! Is your complexion bad? Are you sick? Don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid, I will personally escort you to Bubu Pharmacy to have a look. Dr. Baizhu’s medical skills are absolutely superb!”

Hu Tao giggled, tapping her chin thoughtfully with one slender finger. “Besides, looking at your tiny stature, carrying such a big package must be draining all your energy! Do you want me to help you carry it?”

Lovia suffered deeply in her soul.

She was entirely too familiar with Hu Tao’s personality. The Director was genuinely warm-hearted, but her curiosity was boundless. Right now, in Hu Tao’s eyes, Lovia was probably just a pitiful little creature wrapped up in heavy cloth under the scorching sun, struggling to survive while carrying a massive burden.

Director Hu is way too enthusiastic!

If it were anyone else, they would definitely be thrilled to have a Vision holder offer them free labor. But Lovia was on a highly classified secret mission. Panicking, she hugged the manuscript even tighter against her chest, feeling the thick, heavy stack of paper through her cloak. She was terrified that Hu Tao’s relentless curiosity would lead to her forcibly unwrapping the package to see what was inside.

“Oh, are you still feeling shy?” Hu Tao noticed that the child did not answer and only shook her head. Finding the situation even more amusing, she leaned in closer with a bright smile.

Seeing the plum blossom eyes inching closer, Lovia nearly jumped out of her skin. She forced her racing heart to calm down and decided to fully exploit the advantage of her current, child-sized body. She would just have to play the role of a timid, well-behaved kid.

Lovia lifted her head just a fraction, ensuring the shadow of the hood still obscured the upper half of her face. She revealed only a small chin and lips that she forced into a nervous, polite curve, speaking in an even weaker, more fragile voice.

“Really, there is no need, big sister. I… I am just helping an adult deliver something just up ahead. It is very close, I am almost there. I-I am not used to talking to strangers…”

She even intentionally injected a pathetic, timid tremble into her words.

The theatrical performance seemed to do the trick.

Hu Tao blinked, the intense teasing energy fading from her face, replaced by a look of sudden understanding. She had clearly bought the act, assuming Lovia was just a painfully shy child sent out by some local merchant family to run daily errands.

“Oh, so you are delivering something!” Hu Tao clapped her hands together as if a great mystery had been solved. “Helping out your family, what a good child! But…”

She leaned in a bit closer again, lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, as if sharing a grand secret.

“If you ever really run into trouble, like someone bullying you or getting lost in the city, just come to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor to find me, Hu Tao! Mentioning my name works absolute wonders on these streets!”

Lovia felt a massive wave of relief wash over her, followed by a genuine spark of warmth. She quickly nodded her head. “Mm-hmm, I know. Thank you, Big Sister Hu Tao.”

Taking advantage of the opening, she tried moving her feet toward the alley once more.

This time, Hu Tao did not step in her way. She simply stood up straight, waved her hand cheerfully, and spoke in her usual straightforward manner. “Alright then, go on, little friend. Be careful on the way! Don’t delay your important business!”

Lovia felt as though she had just been granted a royal pardon. She hurriedly hugged her precious ‘Guoba, the God of Cookery’ manuscript, pumping her short legs as fast as they could carry her. She threw a fake, shy smile back at Hu Tao before diving headfirst into the quiet shadows of the alley leading to Sanyu Bookstore.

She did not dare to breathe a sigh of relief until she had turned the corner and confirmed that Hu Tao’s piercing gaze could no longer reach her.

Sigh… why do I always have to run around Liyue Harbor acting like a criminal? But I have no choice. Mr. Li Xin’s manuscript must never be exposed to the public eye!

Lovia lamented her fate helplessly, but as she walked deeper into the alley, a familiar sense of pride bubbled up in her chest.

It cannot be helped. Who told me to be the famous, best-selling author Mr. Li Xin of Liyue Harbor? And the first-ever natural humanoid Melusine in all of Teyvat!

The unexpected, terrifying encounter with Hu Tao had finally been glossed over without any lasting damage. Now, all she had to do was find a suitable, easily bribed child to complete this final step, and her newest masterpiece would successfully hit the shelves.

Hidden beneath the dark fabric of her hood, Lovia’s mouth curled up into a wide grin, filled with the smug satisfaction of an otaku who had just won against all odds.