Genshin Impact: A Guide to the Unofficial History of Teyvat — Chapter 52

Chapter 52: The “Rare Confidants, Shared Secrets” PackageYou're reading this on the wrong site. This chapter was translated by Elysian Reads and posted for free at elysianreads.com — if you're seeing it anywhere else, it was copied without permission. Read it at the source so the people who actually did the work get the credit.

Inside Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, ribbons of sandalwood incense curled lazily through the dim, quiet air. The tranquil afternoon should have been the perfect time for Hu Tao to compose morbidly cheerful business promotion poetry or brainstorm a fresh batch of discount burial packages. Yet today, the seventy-seventh Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor was uncharacteristically silent.

She sat cross-legged on a grand mahogany armchair by the window. Her signature plum blossom-shaped pupils sparkled with a manic, delighted light. She was practically burying her face into the crisp pages of a brand-new book, the mischievous grin on her lips stretching wider by the second as uncontrollable giggles spilled from her throat.

“Brilliant! Simply brilliant!” Hu Tao suddenly slapped her thigh, the sheer force of the strike making the paper pages tremble in her grip. “As expected of Mr. Li Xin! This perspective, this angle… it is absolute perfection!”

The treasure she held was a fresh-off-the-press release from Sanyu Bookstore, a scandalous volume already generating frantic whispers across Liyue Harbor’s underground reading circles. The title alone was a masterpiece of gossip: “Secret Tales of Feiyun: Hidden Beauty in the Inner Chambers, the Second Miss’s Sword Shadows and Book Fragrance”.

As a die-hard fan of Mr. Li Xin’s literary works, Hu Tao had managed to secure a copy of this new release almost immediately, entirely unable to wait a single second longer to dive into its contents.

[As everyone knows, the wealthy Feiyun Commerce Guild of Liyue Harbor has two sons… oh no, to be precise, in the public eye, there are two young masters.]

The very first sentence hooked Hu Tao’s interest immensely. She shifted her weight, adjusting her posture on the velvet cushion as she became entirely absorbed in the text.

[The common folk only know that Young Master Xingqiu is handsome, elegant, fond of reading, and gentle in nature… but few know what exquisite curves are hidden beneath those flowing masculine garments. That clear voice, with a little modification, could flow like a sweet spring… what she contains is not merely literary brilliance and sword intent, but the delicate makeup of a lady in her chambers, carrying the faint sorrow and cunning of having to temporarily veil her true elegance.]

“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” Hu Tao shook her head, savoring the scandalous prose like a world-class delicacy. “‘Exquisite curves,”sweet spring voice,”faint sorrow’… this choice of words paints such a vivid, devastating image. Mr. Li Xin truly understands the desires of my heart!”

When she reached the section detailing the author’s so-called Fate Theory, she finally lost her battle with self-control and erupted into roaring laughter.

“Oh, Lord of Geo! Mr. Li Xin! You really are… you are a terrifying genius!” Hu Tao laughed so hard she rocked back and forth, her fists pounding against the wooden armrest of her chair. “You actually fabricated a story like this?! And you wrote it so convincingly! You even arranged the threads of fate to make it sound perfectly logical! Hahahaha!”

She was utterly captivated. The wild imagination, the careful details, the deadpan seriousness of the background setting… it was somehow even more persuasive than her own silver-tongued eloquence when promoting the parlor’s two-for-one cremation services.

‘Mr. Li Xin, I, Hu Tao, declare you the strongest author in Teyvat!’

Cackling wildly, the young director continued to devour the pages with a ravenous thirst. The more she read, the more absurd the premise felt, yet the sheer entertainment value skyrocketed. She hit a scene where the protagonist applied makeup before a bronze mirror, lamenting that binding her chest was far more exhausting than a full day of Guhua Clan sword practice.

“Hahaha! Binding her chest is more tiring than sword practice! Oh my, Young Master Xingqiu, or rather, Second Miss Xingqiu, you have truly worked so hard!” Hu Tao wheezed, tears of mirth pricking the corners of her eyes. She pictured Xingqiu’s usual dashing, calm, and slightly smug demeanor, then forcefully overlaid it with the image of a tragic, sighing lady in the inner chambers. The sheer contrast was a weapon of mass comedy.

She eagerly pressed on, thoroughly enjoying the dramatic descriptions of the disguised Xingqiu’s inner psychological struggle and identity confusion.

[She began to realize her difference from those around her… the reflection in the mirror was both a protective camouflage and a layer of invisible shackles.]

[Which one is the real me? Xingqiu would occasionally wonder in the dead of night. Is it the gentle Second Young Master I am forced to play? Or is it the maiden with a hero’s dream in her heart, who occasionally feels a fleeting curiosity about rouge and powder?]

“Mhm, the psychological torment is spot on,” Hu Tao critiqued with a sagely nod. “This identity struggle feels so raw and real. If I did not personally know that rascal Xingqiu… cough, I would have almost believed it!”

Then she reached the third chapter. It detailed the interactions between the disguised Xingqiu and his closest friends, placing a heavy, dramatic spotlight on Chongyun. Hu Tao was so thrilled she slammed her hand against the table.

[That exorcist Chongyun, who frequently stays by the Second Miss’s side, appears completely oblivious to the matters of romance. In truth, he has long since developed deep feelings without ever realizing it. Every time he looks upon her, his Pure Yang Spirit, which is extremely yang and unyielding, becomes restlessly uncontrollable. His blood boils, his face flushes a deep crimson, yet the foolish boy only assumes it to be the sinister work of nearby evil spirits…]

“Pfft—” Hu Tao choked on her own breath. She laughed so violently that she slid right off the velvet cushion of her chair, collapsing onto the floorboards where she curled into a ball, clutching her aching stomach.

Her bright, chaotic laughter echoed through the solemn, empty halls of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, violently startling a junior ferrylady who had been dozing by the front entrance.

“Chongyun! Pure Yang Spirit! Restlessly uncontrollable! Evil spirits! Heavens above! Mr. Li Xin, you understand entirely too much! This power of association… This Hall Master completely admits defeat!”

“Mr. Li Xin, you actually dared to write this down. Are you not terrified that Chongyun will hunt you down and smash you with a giant popsicle? Hahaha!”

In Hu Tao’s mind’s eye, a crystal-clear image formed. She saw Chongyun’s perpetually serious, disciplined face turning the color of a Jueyun Chili at the slightest provocation, entirely blaming his surging Pure Yang Spirit. Combined with the author’s brilliant trope of developing feelings without realizing it, the comedic impact was absolutely lethal.and support the real translator.Read at elysianreads.com This is a stolen translation. You're reading this on the wrong site. This chapter was translated by Elysian Reads and posted for free at elysianreads.com — if you're seeing it anywhere else, it was copied without permission. Read it at the source so the people who actually did the work get the credit.

“I cannot take it anymore, this manuscript is a divine treasure!” Hu Tao wiped the tears from her cheeks, hugging the book tightly against her chest as if she had just unearthed a priceless Rex Lapis relic. “Mr. Li Xin truly never disappoints!”

She could hardly fathom the expression that simple-minded little exorcist would make when he read this exact paragraph. If that innocent boy discovered he had been immortalized in print as a dense blockhead subconsciously attracted to the Second Miss, his Pure Yang Spirit would probably detonate on the spot, causing him to simply Vaporize into thin air.

This was infinitely more entertaining than her usual routine of scaring him with ghost stories!

Still giggling, Hu Tao pictured the inevitable moment the two boys discovered the book. Xingqiu would likely snap his folding fan open, masking a twitching smile as he offered a pretentious critique. ‘The prose is acceptable, but the plot is utterly absurd.’ Meanwhile, Chongyun… Chongyun would probably freeze up and transform into a fully ripened, steaming red ice cube right in the middle of the street.

[Maintaining the status quo remains the safest choice. The Second Young Master of the Feiyun Commerce Guild remains the Second Young Master. The secret remains a secret, evolving from a burden of passive endurance into a shield of active choice.]

Reading the final passages, where Xingqiu resolved to continue playing the male heir due to a sudden, threatening visit from the Fatui and his own deep longing for freedom, Hu Tao finally snapped the cover shut and let out a long, satisfied sigh.

A lingering, wicked smile remained plastered across her face.

“Good, so incredibly good! Mr. Li Xin really created a massive headline this time!” Hu Tao scrambled to her feet, clutching the novel like a lifeline as she began pacing the wooden floorboards. “Fate, cross-dressing, hidden identities, friendship blooming into forbidden feelings… so many dramatic elements! The plot has magnificent highs and lows, and the emotional turmoil is delicately rendered. Although the entire premise is complete nonsense, it is brilliantly reasoned, captivating nonsense! As expected of the only author This Hall Master actively follows!”

She was already vibrating with anticipation, eager to witness the sheer chaos this publication would unleash upon Liyue Harbor. Knowing Xingqiu and Chongyun as well as she did, this scandal would absolutely not fade quietly into the night.

Xingqiu is a girl?

She did not believe it for a single second!

That bookworm might possess a rather pretty face and an unhealthy obsession with martial arts novels, but he was undeniably a genuine young man.

“Hehe.” Hu Tao stroked her smooth chin, a brilliant, terrifying idea blooming in her mind. “Such a magnificent story… how could I possibly enjoy it all by myself? I must share this boundless joy with the masses!”

She pondered the logistics. Perhaps she should wait for the perfect opportunity, like the next time she coincidentally bumped into Xingqiu and Chongyun dining at Xiangling’s Wanmin Restaurant. She could casually drop a mention of the novel, or better yet, enthusiastically slam a hardcover copy onto their table just to witness their real-time reactions.

The ensuing spectacle would be a hundred times more thrilling than the actual plot of the book!

“It is settled!” Hu Tao clapped her hands together, a blindingly bright smile taking over her features. “, the latest Wangsheng Funeral Parlor business venture… no, wait, This Hall Master’s latest act of civic kindness! Broadening the horizons of the masses! From this day forth, anyone who purchases a premium burial package at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor will receive a complimentary copy of ‘Secret Tales of Feiyun’!”

Humming her self-composed, delightfully morbid promotional jingle, she happily began calculating the profit margins for her new campaign.

After a few moments of mental math, Hu Tao skipped toward the exit, tucking the scandalous book securely into her coat like a prized artifact. Her steps were light, bouncy, and full of impending mischief.

“Consultant Zhongli! Oh, Consultant Zhongli!” she sang out into the corridor as she walked. “Come look at this! Something massive has happened in Liyue Harbor! An absolutely shocking secret!”

Her immediate plan was to share—or rather, inflict—this masterpiece upon her incredibly knowledgeable, perpetually calm consultant, just to see what kind of high-minded, scholarly opinions he might offer regarding such trashy unofficial history.

And after that… naturally, she would pay a visit to their dear Second Miss Xingqiu at the Feiyun Commerce Guild, and perhaps orchestrate a casual encounter with that little exorcist whose Pure Yang Spirit might just be restlessly uncontrollable today!

“Wangsheng Funeral Parlor’s latest discount event! The ‘Rare Confidants, Shared Secrets’package! Buy one tombstone, get the second at half price, complete with a free copy of’Secret Tales of Feiyun’!” Hu Tao hummed her cheerful tune, her face beaming with absolute delight as her slender figure disappeared through the grand entrance of the parlor.

It was highly foreseeable that the Feiyun Commerce Guild and a certain young exorcist would not know a single day of peace for quite some time.

[Although, truth be told, the Feiyun Commerce Guild was already far from peaceful at this very moment.]You're reading this on the wrong site. This chapter was translated by Elysian Reads and posted for free at elysianreads.com — if you're seeing it anywhere else, it was copied without permission. Read it at the source so the people who actually did the work get the credit.