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ArabicGenshin Impact: A Guide to the Unofficial History of Teyvat — Chapter 45
Chapter 45: Even I’m Starting to Doubt Myself, Have You Truly Never Doubted?
Chongyun hurried along the bustling streets of Liyue Harbor. The absurd notion planted in his mind acted like a spark to dry tinder, igniting his Pure Yang Spirit. Heat radiated from his core, rushing up his neck and leaving his ears burning with a persistent, fiery flush. He clutched the hidden package tightly against his chest, his footsteps heavy against the stone pavement.
‘If Xingqiu saw that I actually bought such a book…’he thought, his pulse hammering against his ribs.’How could I possibly explain myself?’
He practically sprinted the rest of the way, arriving at the grand entrance of the Feiyun Commerce Guild in a single breath. He offered only a hasty, breathless nod to the familiar guards stationed at the gates before rushing straight into the compound. He knew the layout of the estate by heart. At this hour, the second young master would undoubtedly be sequestered in the waterside study of the back garden, whiling away the afternoon with poetry or calligraphy.
Rounding the carefully carved wooden corridor, the elegant outline of the waterside pavilion came into view. Just as he expected, a familiar figure dressed in deep blue stood with his back turned. Xingqiu leaned casually against the ornate railing, holding a bamboo scroll in one hand, the very picture of leisurely grace.
The golden summer sunlight spilled through the latticed windows, tracing the sharp, clear line of his jaw and the flat, slender plane of his chest.
That was, without question, the silhouette of a young man.
Seeing his friend in such an ordinary, grounded state, the balloon of anxiety inflating inside Chongyun suddenly popped. The tension that had coiled tight in his muscles hissed out of him in a long exhale.
‘What Second Miss…’he chided himself.’How could that possibly be true?’
“Xingqiu!”
The name tore from Chongyun’s throat before he could stop it. His voice was rough, breathless from his frantic run, completely failing to mask the raw urgency beneath it.
Xingqiu turned at the sound. The bright, unforgiving sunlight caught the handsome angles of his profile, while a gentle breeze teased the dark navy strands of hair resting against his forehead. The moment his amber eyes landed on the young exorcist, a brilliant smile bloomed across his features. He offered a light wave.
“Oh? Chongyun? You are in quite the rush. What has you so agitated on such a fine afternoon?” He lowered the scroll, his tone dripping with its usual playful lilt. “Could it be that your Pure Yang Spirit is acting up again…?”
The words trailed off as Xingqiu registered his friend’s erratic state.
Chongyun’s face was a canvas of flushed red, his ice-blue eyes darting everywhere but meeting Xingqiu’s gaze. He looked anxious, deadly serious, and utterly mortified all at once.
Closing the distance in a few long strides, Chongyun planted himself directly in front of the scholar. He stared intensely at Xingqiu’s face, his gaze burning like a torch as he searched for any hidden flaw, any trace of makeup or disguise. He opened his mouth to speak, but the interrogation he had rehearsed the entire way over dissolved into ash on his tongue.
‘Should I just ask him if he is a man or a woman?’Chongyun panicked internally.’Or ask if he binds his chest? How could I possibly say those words out loud!’
Xingqiu blinked, genuinely bewildered by the intense scrutiny. “What is wrong? Do I have ink smudged on my cheek?”
He raised a pale hand, brushing his fingertips lightly against his own skin.
“N-no!” Chongyun snapped out of his trance. He dragged in a sharp breath of the humid garden air, desperately trying to cool the rising temperature of his blood. The heavy weight of the book pressed against his ribs reminded him of his mission. He finally found his opening. “I just passed by Sanyu Bookstore and heard some… some utterly absurd rumors. And I saw a book…”
“A book?” Xingqiu tilted his head, his interest visibly piqued. “What manner of literature could possibly make our stoic exorcist so frantic?”
“It is… it is about you!” Chongyun forced the words out, the heat returning to his cheeks with a vengeance. “It is titled Secret Tales of Feiyun or something similar…”
He deliberately swallowed the long, deeply shameful subtitle he had seen on the cover. He watched Xingqiu’s face like a hawk, bracing for the fallout.
“The book actually spouts absolute nonsense claiming that you are a girl! It says you are cross-dressing as a boy to avoid some sort of family misfortune. It is utterly preposterous!”
He waited for the shock. He waited for Xingqiu to scoff, to laugh off the sheer audacity of the claim, to share in his righteous indignation.
Instead, Xingqiu merely paused. The smile lingering in his peach-blossom eyes deepened into something far more dangerous. He did not utter a single word of denial. He simply brought the edge of his bamboo scroll up to rest lightly against his chin, adopting a posture of deep, theatrical contemplation.
Then came a reaction that shattered every expectation Chongyun had.
“Oh? Such a thing exists in the market?”
There was zero trace of anger in his voice. His amber eyes practically sparkled with delight, as if he had just been handed a fascinating new puzzle. The curve of his lips grew sharper, more pronounced. He leaned forward, closing the space between them.
“What else did this book claim? Tell me every detail. Is the prose well-crafted? How are the sales figures looking?”
Chongyun stared.
‘This reaction is completely wrong!’
He stood frozen, utterly dumbfounded, the comforting reassurances he had prepared dying in his throat. Xingqiu actually seemed thrilled by the character assassination. He was asking about sales!
The sheer blank shock on the exorcist’s face was the breaking point. Xingqiu let out a sudden, bright burst of laughter, his slender shoulders shaking with genuine mirth.
“Hahaha… Chongyun, your expression… it is simply too amusing.” Xingqiu finally caught his breath, elegantly wiping a stray tear of amusement from the corner of his eye with his silk sleeve. “I thought a disaster had struck Liyue. It turns out you merely discovered Mr. Li Xin’s newest work.”
“You… you already knew about this?” Chongyun asked, his voice cracking slightly.
“I have heard whispers of it.” Xingqiu waved a hand dismissively, his tone relaxed and laced with genuine appreciation. “This author possesses quite the talent for prose, and his narrative structures are highly ingenious. While the content is entirely fabricated, it makes for a remarkably captivating read.”
“I simply did not expect him to weave a tale centered around me this time. He has quite the vivid imagination, does he not?” He spoke with the detached amusement of a critic reviewing a stage play.
“Captivating?” Chongyun echoed, barely able to process the syllables. He had practically burned a hole through his own stomach worrying about his friend’s ruined reputation, yet the victim in question was standing here critiquing the author’s writing style. “They are dragging your good name through the mud! The people in the streets speak of it so vividly they have practically convinced themselves it is the truth! How can you not be worried?”
“My reputation?” Xingqiu chuckled softly, the sound low and musical. “I conduct my affairs to satisfy my own conscience, Chongyun. A few idle whispers in the market, a few pages of fictional jest written by a stranger… why should I waste my energy caring about such trivialities?”
“Those who wish to believe it will believe it, and those who possess common sense will not. Besides…”
Xingqiu let the word drag out slowly. His amber gaze swept up and down Chongyun’s rigid frame. The scholar’s eyes lingered deliberately on the exorcist’s chest, where the stiff, rectangular outline of a hidden book pressed awkwardly against the fabric of his slightly disheveled tunic.
“…seeing you so worked up over this, going to the extreme lengths of purchasing a copy to study it so closely. Could it be… you were the first to waver? Did you truly begin to suspect that I harbor some unspeakable secret?”
The weight of that knowing gaze felt like it was stripping away his clothes. Chongyun’s face ignited into a brilliant, furious shade of crimson. He instinctively crossed his arms, clutching the hidden book against his chest as he stammered out a desperate defense.
“I… I did no such thing! I only bought it to gather evidence so I could help you crush these rumors!”
“Oh? Is that the truth?” Xingqiu feigned a look of deep understanding, though the wicked teasing in his eyes only intensified. “Then you have truly gone above and beyond the call of friendship. Tell me, how goes the evidence collection? Does the manuscript contain any more thrilling revelations? Perhaps a chapter detailing how I hide away in my maidenly boudoir?”
Chongyun lost the ability to speak. His cheeks burned with enough heat to boil water.
Staring into Xingqiu’s gleeful, triumphant expression, a devastating realization crashed over him. All his frantic worry, his righteous anger, his agonizing internal debate on the run over here… and that tiny, shameful urge to visually confirm the truth… Xingqiu was reading him like an open scroll, treating his panic as a brilliant afternoon entertainment.
The suppressed energy of his Pure Yang Spirit erupted completely. A wave of dizzying heat rushed straight to his head, turning his neck a violent shade of red.
“I have not read a single page of it… I am done talking to you!” The young exorcist, drowning in a sea of shame and indignation, spun on his heel. He no longer cared about the damning evidence hidden in his robes. He just needed to flee this courtyard before he spontaneously combusted.
“Hey, do not leave just yet!” Xingqiu laughed, his hand darting out with surprising speed. His cool fingers wrapped firmly around Chongyun’s wrist, halting his escape. “You have not even allowed me to admire the text. Is it not said that sharing a joy is far superior to enjoying it alone?”
“Go… go buy your own copy!” Chongyun tugged at his arm, but his flustered state had sapped his usual physical strength, leaving him trapped in the scholar’s grip.
“But I am a delicate Second Miss hidden away in her boudoir. How could I possibly show my face in public to purchase such scandalous material?” Xingqiu sighed, layering his voice with a thick, dramatic sorrow, though his eyes danced with wicked delight. “It was so incredibly thoughtful of you to procure it for me. Come now, let me see it. I am genuinely curious to see how Mr. Li Xin has portrayed me. Do I truly sit before a vanity mirror applying rouge, as the rumors claim?”
“Besides…” Xingqiu’s voice suddenly dropped. He stepped into Chongyun’s personal space, leaning in so close that the exorcist could feel the faint, cool draft of his breath against his burning collar. “…I also happened to overhear the gossip at the bookhouse today. They spoke with such absolute conviction, even I am starting to doubt my own nature…”
The proximity was suffocating.
“Chongyun, we have known each other for so many years. Could it be… you have truly never doubted?”
Xingqiu’s voice retained its usual crystal clarity, but the lowered volume and the intimate distance laced his words with a heavy, dangerous ambiguity that made Chongyun’s pulse hammer wildly against his ribs.