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ArabicGenshin Impact: A Guide to the Unofficial History of Teyvat — Chapter 3
Chapter 3: Lord Jueyun Chili Didn’t Bring Mora Today Either
On the crisp, slightly yellowed manuscript paper, the neat handwriting laid out a story that bordered on absolute blasphemy:
[Book Title]: Record of Shi Po’s Wanderings, Part One: Lord Jueyun Chili Didn’t Bring Mora Today Either
[Author]: Li Xin
[Main Text]:
On that day, the weather was clear and the breeze was pleasant. Lord Rex Lapis, finding himself with a rare moment of absolute leisure, suddenly felt a stirring desire to experience the mundane world. Thus, he concealed his divine radiance, shed his celestial majesty, and transformed into an elegant young nobleman, adopting the pseudonym “Jueyun Chili.”
To his divine mind, this name was meant to imply a character “as tough as a rock, yet as transparent and precious as amber.”
This young master “Jueyun Chili” carried himself with an impeccable, composed manner. He was generous in his spending—clearly the type of aristocratic soul who never bothered to carry his own coin.
Before long, he leisurely strolled into the bustling marketplace of Liyue Harbor.
Young master “Jueyun Chili” was graceful and deeply knowledgeable. Pausing by the fragrant stalls of Wanmin Restaurant, he observed a fresh batch of Spicy Wotou and nodded in measured praise. “This item possesses a primitive shape and a bold, spicy fragrance. Very good.”
Continuing his stroll, he passed by The Jade Mystery. Seeing the abundant display of raw, uncut stones, he paused, his golden eyes sweeping over the merchandise. “Hmm, there may be a glimmer of high-quality jade hidden within these. This entire row—I want them all.”
The shopkeeper, naturally, beamed with uncontainable joy. He moved nimbly, packing the heavy stones and tallying the invoice in one seamless motion. In the blink of an eye, the goods were wrapped, and the exorbitant bill was respectfully presented. The merchant rubbed his hands together, waiting for the wealthy young master to produce his Mora.
Hearing the total, the young man remained perfectly calm. He reached into his sleeve—a habitual, thoughtless movement he had performed for thousands of years.
Mora? With a mere flicker of his will, it would naturally gather at his fingertips like golden sand.
However, this time, his search came up entirely empty.
Within the young man’s calm, stone-like golden eyes, an extremely subtle flicker of surprise passed by. Without changing his serene expression, he reached into his opposite sleeve pocket.
Also empty.
He casually brushed a hand against his waist. There was nothing there but a replica ornament of the Memory of Dust, warm and smooth as premium jade… Hmm?
Morax—or rather, Lord Rex Lapis, who was currently operating under the vegetable-themed pseudonym “Jueyun Chili”—finally remembered a crucial detail about mortal life: mortals actually needed to carry Mora when they went out.
When he sat upon his throne as the Lord of Geo, the gold of the world and the treasures buried deep within the rock layers were all mere extensions of his will. Mora was originally formed from His very flesh and blood; why would there ever be a reason to physically “carry” it?
Although he was now wandering the mortal realm, how could a habit ingrained into his very bones be changed overnight?
The shopkeeper’s bright smile began to stiffen at the edges. “Customer?”
Mr. “Jueyun Chili” gave a light, polite cough, withdrew his hand, and placed it neatly behind his back. His posture remained calm and unhurried, as if he had merely been inspecting the fine embroidery on his own cuff.
He pondered for a brief moment, then spoke slowly. “Shopkeeper, I left in a hurry today and did not bring any Mora.”
The shopkeeper’s face instantly drained of color. Holding a packaged crate of raw stones worth over a million Mora, he stood frozen, unsure whether to pull the merchandise back over the counter. “This… Customer, surely you are joking?”
“I am not.” Mr. “Jueyun Chili” looked utterly composed. “As such, you may record the bill.”
The shopkeeper was bewildered. “Record it to whom?”
Mr. “Jueyun Chili” raised a gloved hand, pointing casually toward the magnificent, towering complex overlooking the entire harbor. His tone was flat and indifferent, carrying a sense of natural, unshakable entitlement. “Send it to Yuehai Pavilion; the Liyue Qixing can receive it. They will handle the matter.”
He paused, offering a helpful alternative. “Or, simply find the Tianquan, Ningguang, for reimbursement. Just tell her… it is for ‘Jueyun Chili’s’ daily expenses. She has been busy with the Jade Chamber reconstruction lately, so her cash flow should have eased up significantly. Handling these small expenses should be no problem for her.”
The shopkeeper’s jaw practically unhinged. “…Ah? Se-send it to Lady Ningguang at Yuehai Pavilion?!”
He doubted his own ears. Who on earth buys a mountain of rocks and tells a civilian shopkeeper to send the bill directly to Liyue’s highest governing body?!
Was this handsome lunatic out of his mind?
But seeing Mr. “Jueyun Chili” finish his instructions as if he had just resolved a trivial matter, the young man naturally took the heavy package of raw stones right out of the shopkeeper’s limp hands and gave a slight, polite nod. “Thank you for your trouble.”
Having said that, he actually turned around. With steady steps and fluttering robes, under the shopkeeper’s completely stunned gaze, he leisurely departed.
He merged into the bustling crowd of the streets and vanished in an instant.
Leaving the shopkeeper standing alone, dazed in the wind, still clutching an exorbitant bill that he didn’t know whether to write, or where to send if he did.
It is said that to this day, several such bills are still wandering on the long, confusing road to Yuehai Pavilion.
Is this the true wisdom of wandering the mortal world?
As the old saying goes: Why need Mora when walking the earth? With a value in mind, everything can be charged to someone else’s name!
Morax created Mora, yet he seems to have never truly “owned” it.
Perhaps this is the true world of a god: I own nothing, but everything is at my disposal?
(To be continued… If this piece can earn a few Mora to fill the belly, the anonymous author may continue to reveal the Lord of Geo’s “frugal” ways in the mortal world.)
Silence.
A deathly, suffocating silence filled the back room of the Sanyu Bookstore.
The owner’s lips trembled violently. The color of his face cycled rapidly from a sickly pale to a boiling, apoplectic red.
“Lord… Lord Rex Lapis… pseudonym… Jueyun Chili? Telling a merchant to find… find Tianquan Ningguang… for re-reimbursement?!” He gasped for air, clutching the edge of his desk, feeling his heart threatening to launch itself straight out of his throat. “Da-daily expenses?! Wa-want them all?! This, this, this…”
This unofficial history was far too wild! It was simply beyond all bounds of mortal decency!
To actually dare to fabricate such outrageous slander about Lord Rex Lapis! Writing the divine protector of Liyue as a deadbeat who buys things without money and then righteously commands the shopkeeper to go extort the Liyue Qixing for the funds.
But…
The owner swallowed hard, staring at the ink on the page. Why did he faintly feel that this specific style of righteously forcing others to foot the bill, when paired with Lord Rex Lapis’s supreme identity, actually carried a slight… sense of reasonableness?
Lord Rex Lapis indeed didn’t need to carry money! Mora was literally forged from His divine power. Letting the Qixing clean up his financial messes… didn’t seem entirely impossible, did it?
And the prose itself—the careful details, the flowing dialogue—it was so incredibly vivid. It read as if the author had been crouching right there at the corner of the street wall, furiously taking notes! Especially the “entitled” and “composed” demeanor of the incognito god; the description was terrifyingly lifelike.
It was even a bit… funny?
Especially the line, ‘She has been busy with the Jade Chamber reconstruction lately, so her cash flow should have eased up significantly.’ The bookstore owner could perfectly envision the serious, matter-of-fact expression on young master “Jueyun Chili’s” handsome face when he delivered that line.
“Pfft…”
He clamped a hand over his mouth, but it was too late. He had actually laughed out loud. Terror instantly washed over him, and he whipped his head around, scanning the quiet shop like a common thief, terrified that a passing Millelith patrol might have heard his blasphemous chuckle.
Absurd! Too absurd! Just who was the audacious lunatic who penned this?!
If this were to be published…
The owner’s heart pounded a frantic rhythm against his ribs. But as a seasoned Liyue businessman, his keen commercial intuition was already screaming at him. Although this manuscript was extremely dangerous, it possessed a magnetic pull that would likely attract the Mora of every single literate citizen in Liyue Harbor!
This “unofficial history” was written with such rich, grounded detail and a narrative voice that mimicked historical texts perfectly. It used a brilliant style of serious nonsense, packed to the brim with abstract, addictive fun.
His pulse racing, the shopkeeper hurriedly smoothed out the crumpled edges of the manuscript and picked up the attached “letter of entrustment” to examine it once more.
From a certain gentleman who does not wish to reveal his name.
The owner scoffed quietly. Who are you kidding! What proper “gentleman” could write such a deranged masterpiece? This was clearly the work of a mad genius who understood Lord Rex Lapis so… intimately!
A few streets away, the “mad genius” in question had long since bolted.
Lovia was currently pressed flat against the damp brickwork of an absolutely safe, secluded alleyway, patting her chest and panting heavily.
“I sub-submitted it!” she whispered to the empty air, a chaotic mix of sheer terror and adrenaline-fueled excitement bubbling in her chest. “Now it’s in the hands of fate!”
She pressed her palms together, looking up at the sliver of sky between the rooftops. “Morax protect me… no, wait, I just wrote a completely fabricated dark history about him committing tax evasion! Then… I hope His Lordship is magnanimous and doesn’t come to find me in a dream tonight to settle the score…”
A loud, hollow growl erupted from her stomach, interrupting her frantic prayers. Lovia winced, rubbing her abdomen as she cast a longing, desperate glance back in the direction of the Sanyu Bookstore.
“Please,” she whimpered softly. “I just hope the owner recognizes its artistic value and decides to publish it quickly. My meal money literally depends on this…”