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ArabicGenshin Impact: A Guide to the Unofficial History of Teyvat — Chapter 28
Chapter 28: Harmless Unofficial History Won’t Blacken Their Names!
Holding the sweet lotus seed pods given by Yaoyao, Lovia returned to her cozy little shack. Her mood mirrored the thousands of lanterns illuminating Liyue Harbor at night—instantly and brilliantly lit.
“A knowledgeable old scholar? An adeptus?” As she peeled the fresh lotus seeds, popping the tender green kernels into her mouth, she mulled over Yaoyao’s innocent words. A thrill of excitement fizzed through her veins. ‘It seems everyone’s expectations for the great Mr. Li Xin are quite high… I’ve spent all this time exclusively writing about Rex Lapis. It’s definitely time to expand my business horizons.’
An “unofficial history” of the adepti… The mere concept was like a firework igniting in her mind, showering her imagination with sparks.
As a self-proclaimed brilliant transmigrator and a veteran fanfiction author who knew the actual official history of Teyvat inside and out, orchestrating—no, rigorously researching—the unknown, behind-the-scenes lives of the adepti was as natural as breathing to her.
“Now, which adeptus should I target first?” She plopped down, sitting cross-legged on her plush cushion. Behind her, her blue Melusine tail tapped a rhythmic, unconscious beat against the floorboards. “Cloud Retainer? She’s quite the chatterbox and absolutely loves inventing things. I could write that she’s actually a closeted shut-in! All those complex mechanical contraptions are just to make it easier for her to stay holed up on Mt. Aocang, slacking off and binge-reading comic books.”
She giggled, her tail thumping faster. “Or what about Streetward Rambler? I could write about how she became utterly obsessed with dancing after her retirement. I can see it now—leading the elderly ladies of Liyue Harbor to absolute victory, claiming the championship trophy in Teyvat’s first-ever Seven Archons Sun Cup square dancing competition!”
Ideas bubbled up one after another, each dripping with that distinct, chaotic meme-fic energy she was so intimately familiar with from her past life. But ultimately, the swirling storm of inspiration settled, and a single, distinct figure solidified in her mind’s eye.
That solitary, upright silhouette who remained hidden away on the top floor balcony of Wangshu Inn all year round.
“Adeptus Xiao…” Lovia murmured to herself, the corners of her mouth curling up into an uncontrollable, mischievous grin.
This Guardian Yaksha, the famed Conqueror of Demons, was universally painted as a tragic hero in official records and public perception. He was aloof, taciturn, and heavily burdened by his endless Karmic Debt. He was powerful, lonely, impressive, yet deeply heart-wrenching.
But what was currently brewing in Lovia’s otaku-corrupted mind was something else entirely.
“He always wears that intense ‘keep away from me’ expression, seemingly completely uninterested in anything except fulfilling Rex Lapis’s orders and slaughtering monsters… But!” She suddenly clapped her hands together, a brilliant flash of inspiration gushing out like a geyser. “The more stoic and unapproachable he acts, the harder the gap moe hits!”
She immediately scrambled for her paper and pen, nearly knocking over her inkwell. A few dark drops splashed across the wooden desk in her frantic haste.
“Karmic Debt is indeed terrifying; that’s the heavy, depressing tone of official history. But in the new research of the esteemed Li Xin, perhaps there are much more down-to-earth troubles bothering our great Conqueror of Demons?” She chuckled darkly, her pen tip already flying across the crisp parchment.
The title was the first thing to leap onto the page in bold, sweeping strokes: The Guardian Yaksha’s Troubles: Karmic Debt Isn’t as Scary as Insomnia.
“Mhm! Absolute perfection!” She admired the header, thoroughly satisfied with her own genius.
The subsequent creative process flowed out of Lovia like rushing water and drifting clouds—smooth, unhindered, and utterly exhilarating. She fully weaponized her past-life specialties as a meme-fic author, perfectly blending them with her absolute informational advantage as a transmigrator.
“Always staying perched so high up on the top floor of Wangshu Inn… sure, the panoramic view is nice, but with the wind howling so fiercely at night, those wooden windows must be rattling constantly, right? How could a notoriously light-sleeping Yaksha possibly stand that racket?” Lovia bit the end of her pen holder, giggling around the wood.
“Slaying demons all night is exhausting physical labor. Naturally, he’d want to catch up on his sleep during the day. But the voices of the mortal merchants and guests downstairs are just too noisy. Then, at night, the croaking of frogs and chirping of birds in Dihua Marsh rise and fall in an endless chorus—ribbit, coo, chirp—it’s simply natural noise pollution! And the Conqueror of Demons’ hearing is countless times sharper than an ordinary person’s…”
Her pen scratched furiously. “Oh, and the inn’s chef, Smiley Yanxiao! The man is highly skilled, but he occasionally experiments with new, pungent dishes, and the heavy scent wafts straight up to the balcony… Hmm, maybe there are times when the heavy grease doesn’t suit an ethereal adeptus’s palate? Or worse, maybe he smells the sweet fragrance of freshly made almond tofu in the dead of night and gets too hungry to fall back asleep?”
Even though adepti technically didn’t need to eat to survive, what if they still got the munchies?
“And then!” Lovia’s eyes sparkled. “There’s that golden-haired Traveler who always loves to climb up the inn to deliver almond tofu or endlessly harass Adeptus Xiao. Sometimes they even run over in the middle of the night, giving the window a loud thud before shouting, ‘Adeptus Xiao, I found a common treasure chest!’or’Adeptus Xiao, come help me fight the Oceanid!'”
“Honestly, the sheer resentment from all that interrupted sleep might accumulate even faster than his Karmic Debt!”
The more Lovia thought about the sheer absurdity of it all, the more amused she became. Her pen moved like a whirlwind.
She painted a vivid picture of a Yaksha adeptus who was severely, chronically sleep-deprived due to a relentless barrage of mundane mortal annoyances. Under her pen, the agonizing torment of Karmic Debt was reduced to a mere background inconvenience. The real daily threats to his sanity were heavy dark circles, nervous exhaustion, and a desperate, extreme longing for a single moment of absolute silence.
She even fabricated a hilarious, dramatic plot point where Xiao secretly visited Bubu Pharmacy in disguise to ask Baizhu for a heavy-duty sedative prescription. When that failed, he tried to use an ancient adeptal art to block out the ambient noise, but accidentally silenced the entire surrounding area of Dihua Marsh, leading the terrified locals to believe the inn was haunted by a mute ghost.
She wrote without a single ounce of psychological burden. After all, she knew the real Xiao was inherently kind, dutiful, and deeply protective of Liyue. This harmless little unofficial history wouldn’t truly tarnish his majestic image. Instead… well, maybe it would make the common folk feel this distant adeptus was just a little more approachable?
“Mhm, let’s just add a tiny bit more about his deep-seated resentment toward those incredibly loud ducks in Dihua Marsh… and, perfect!” Lovia made the final, flourishing stroke with immense satisfaction and blew gently on the paper to dry the ink.
She could already envision the chaotic scene after the new book hit the market. The avid readers of Liyue Harbor would be completely dumbfounded at first, before erupting into even more heated, passionate discussions over their tea.
“A reclusive adeptus? A knowledgeable consultant who knows everything from past to present? Hmph, they’ll never guess in a million years that the great Mr. Li Xin is actually a super-genius Melusine who can perceive everyone’s subtle, everyday troubles!” Lovia wagged her tail proudly. She carefully gathered and tucked away the fresh manuscript, preparing to drop it off at the Sanyu Bookstore sometime soon.
Watching the people of Liyue continue to argue endlessly over her new research was going to be infinitely entertaining!
As for the tiny, lingering question of what might happen if the actual person involved found out… Lovia picked up a crispy fried crab snack from her desk and took a large bite, making a loud, satisfying crunching sound.
‘It’s fine, Melusines run fast!’ she thought with boundless optimism. Her bright sapphire-blue eyes showed not a single trace of fear, holding only the giddy excitement and eager anticipation of a master prankster whose trap was finally set.