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ArabicGenshin Impact: A Guide to the Unofficial History of Teyvat — Chapter 23
Chapter 23: Lord Jueyun Chili and Ten Boxes Half Price
【Title】: The Travels of Shi Pochen · Part Two: Lord Jueyun Chili and Ten Boxes Half Price
【Author】: Li Xin
On that particular day, the Geo Archon of Liyue, currently operating under the rather colorful alias of ‘Lord Jueyun Chili’, strolled through the bustling commercial district of the harbor. Feeling the vibrant energy of the mortal city and the gentle sea breeze brushing against his face, a sudden inclination surfaced in his mind. He wished to visit the local storyteller’s pavilion, savor a pot of freshly brewed tea, and listen to the latest tales of heroism.
Halfway down the main avenue, his progress was halted by a dense crowd gathered outside a newly opened cosmetics boutique. The storefront was lively and chaotic, decorated with bright banners celebrating its grand opening. The shop was running an aggressive promotional campaign: their signature luxury product, ‘Silk Balm’, was being offered at half price to anyone purchasing ten boxes at once.
Lord Jueyun Chili paused at the edge of the crowd to observe. The balm was elegantly packaged in small, translucent glass containers. Beneath the glass, the ointment appeared exceptionally smooth and lustrous, catching the ambient light. The scent drifting from the open display samples was clear, distant, and remarkably long-lasting—undoubtedly a high-quality product crafted with considerable skill.
After a brief moment of quiet contemplation, he stepped forward and addressed the shopkeeper. “This balm is of excellent make. Please pack some for me.”
The shopkeeper turned, his eyes immediately catching the extraordinary bearing and impeccably tailored garments of the consultant standing before him. Recognizing the aura of a major patron, the merchant’s face split into a radiant, obsequious smile. “An excellent eye, my good sir! How many boxes would the esteemed customer like to purchase?”
Lord Jueyun Chili pondered the question for a fraction of a second, his expression completely tranquil. “Just pack them.”
Eager to please, the shopkeeper immediately complied and began boxing the delicate glass containers. One box, five boxes, ten boxes… By the time he reached twenty boxes, the merchant was beaming from ear to ear, mentally calculating his immense profit for the morning.
However, Lord Jueyun Chili stood perfectly still, his amber eyes watching the process without showing the slightest intention of calling a halt.
When the count reached fifty boxes, the shopkeeper’s frantic movements began to slow. A cold bead of sweat formed on his brow.
Upon crossing the threshold of ninety boxes, the merchant’s nerves finally gave out. He stopped, wiped the heavy perspiration from his forehead with a silk handkerchief, and stammered, “M-My lord… is this enough? A normal household could stretch a single box to last over a year…”
Lord Jueyun Chili raised a single, elegant eyebrow, looking genuinely puzzled by the interruption. “Does your establishment not honor the ‘Ten Boxes Half Price’ contract? If so, why stop? Why not pack a hundred boxes? By logical extension, wouldn’t a thousand boxes be even more cost-effective? If accumulated indefinitely, there would eventually arrive a mathematical point where the goods become entirely free.”
The shopkeeper’s face drained of all color, turning a sickly shade of ashen gray. He frantically waved his hands in the air, his voice cracking in panic. “The esteemed customer must be joking! This… this ‘Ten Boxes Half Price’ simply means that for every ten boxes purchased, those specific ten boxes receive a fifty percent discount! The discount does not compound until the product becomes free!”
Lord Jueyun Chili blinked slowly as the reality of the situation set in. He let out a light, quiet sigh, his tone tinged with genuine regret. “I see… The commercial laws of the mortal realm are quite careful indeed.”
He fell silent, pondering the newly clarified rules of engagement for a long moment. “In that case, I shall take one hundred boxes.”
The shopkeeper stood entirely dumbfounded. Moving with trembling hands, he carefully packed the one hundred boxes of premium balm into a massive, exquisitely carved wooden crate.
Lord Jueyun Chili calmly recorded the monumental purchase in the shop’s ledger. Just as he always did, he charged the exorbitant bill directly to the Liyue Qixing without a single second of hesitation.
Once the transaction was finalized, he reached down and lifted the wooden crate—which easily weighed over a hundred catties—with a single, effortless motion of his hand. He turned and walked away at a leisurely pace, leaving the sweating shopkeeper and a crowd of stunned onlookers staring blankly at his retreating back.
By evening, the hundred boxes of balm were stacked high inside the side chamber of the residence where Lord Jueyun Chili was temporarily staying. The intense, concentrated fragrance permeated the wooden rafters and heavy beams, establishing a floral dominance that would linger for days.
Wang Xiaomei, the hardworking secretary of the Liyue Qixing, happened to pass by the corridor. She stopped, sneezing three times in rapid succession before rubbing her nose. She peeked into the room and asked with a strained smile, “Are you planning to open a wholesale cosmetics business?”
Only then, confronted with the sheer physical reality of a room overflowing with luxury ointment, did Lord Jueyun Chili realize he might have slightly overindulged. Suddenly, a spark of inspiration struck him. He gathered up the vast majority of the balm and personally carried the heavy load out of the harbor, setting his sights on the misty peaks of Jueyun Karst.
His first destination was Mt. Aocang. Cloud Retainer was resting gracefully in front of her secluded dwelling, quietly observing the sea of clouds. Seeing her old friend arrive under his new alias, she greeted him with a pleased, elegant nod.
Lord Jueyun Chili produced several glass boxes of the ointment. “I happened upon a rather fine product in the mortal markets and specifically came to share it with the True Lord.”
Cloud Retainer was not typically fond of mundane mortal trinkets, but noting the exquisite craftsmanship of the packaging and the rare fact that he had personally delivered it, she accepted the gift with reserved, dignified grace.
From there, Lord Jueyun Chili continued his trek across the karst. He visited Mountain Shaper, Moon Carver, and several other ancient companions, distributing the fragrant balm to each of them in turn.
Although the Adepti found the cosmetic item entirely unexpected, seeing their revered Lord Rex Lapis personally acting as a delivery courier ensured that every single one of them accepted the offering with deep respect.
When the Conqueror of Demons, Xiao, received his share of the gift, the young yaksha was stunned into absolute silence for a long time. The gloved hand holding the delicate glass box trembled just slightly in the mountain air.
The subsequent reactions of the Adepti were quietly recorded in the annals of the mountains:
When Cloud Retainer finally examined the gift, she cocked her elegant crane neck, letting out a soft, highly skeptical cry. “Oh? When did you… learn such calculating promotional methods from the mortals of the harbor? And what exactly is this ‘Ten Boxes Half Price’ nonsense?”
When Moon Carver received his share, he happened to be in his human form, quietly sipping a cup of bitter tea. Upon hearing the tale of the purchase, he nearly choked, coughing violently into his sleeve before shaking his head with a wry, helpless smile. “…Cough, this action by my old friend is certainly original.”
Mountain Shaper spent a long time studying the smooth ointment, his great avian head tilted in deep confusion as he muttered, “What exactly is this item used to maintain? Feathers? Scales?”
Meanwhile, a certain young Adeptus simply stared at the balm handed to him by Lord Jueyun Chili. His stoic face briefly cracked to show sheer astonishment before he silently accepted the box, bowing his head. After his lord departed, the young Adeptus stood at the edge of the cliff, looking down toward the distant lights of Liyue Harbor. He remained silent for a long time before finally whispering to the wind, “Lord Rex Lapis… as long as you are happy.”
Only Streetward Rambler, upon receiving the fragrant item in the city, chuckled warmly. She turned to her young apprentice standing beside her and smiled. “See? I told you this old fellow would eventually gain some practical insight from wandering the shopping districts, didn’t I? He even managed to catch the ‘Ten Boxes Half Price’ deal. That is good; the Mora he saved is more than enough for him to watch two extra plays at the tea house.”
From that day forward, whenever the Adepti gathered among the misty peaks of Jueyun Karst, a highly similar, soothing scent of Silk Balm would occasionally drift through the crisp mountain air.
The Adepti all understood the situation tacitly, simply referring to the lingering fragrance as a “kind gesture” from a certain Lord. Although the application of such luxury cosmetics was slightly extravagant for immortal beings, no one ever dared to point it out.
After Lord Jueyun Chili finished distributing the balm to his old friends, exactly twenty boxes remained in the wooden crate.
Carrying these final boxes alone, he walked away from the established Adeptal abodes, handling the winding, secluded mountain paths far above Liyue Harbor until he reached a quiet, isolated slope.
There, positioned quietly beneath the sprawling branches of an ancient pine tree, stood a blank stone stele. The grave was surrounded by flourishing wild grass, bathed in the gentle, mournful breezes of the high altitudes.
He knelt, his movements slow and deliberate, and gently brushed a scattering of fallen pine needles from the cold stone steps. With careful care, he placed ten boxes of the Silk Balm in front of the stele, arranging them in a perfectly neat row.
After a long, heavy silence, he finally spoke, his deep voice barely louder than the wind. “This new balm recently appeared in the harbor’s market. The merchants claim it can preserve one’s appearance and retain a lasting fragrance… I remember you always loved trying these sorts of things.”
The mountain breeze swept past, and the ancient pine needles rustled lightly above him, sounding almost like a soft, answering whisper.
The corner of his mouth lifted into a faint, melancholic smile. He kept his gaze fixed on the blank stone. “The other Adepti all received a share… but these were specially saved for you. Although I know you no longer have need of these mortal items, whenever I see something new and beautiful in the city, I always want you to see it too.”
The setting sun began to dip below the horizon, casting his solitary shadow long and dark across the grass. He stood silently before the grave for a moment longer, his amber eyes gentle as still water.
“When I have the leisure,” he whispered finally, “I will return to tell you more about the recent interesting events in the harbor.”
Having spoken his piece, he bowed slightly to the stone. He turned and departed down the mountain path, the tails of his dark coat fluttering gently in the evening draft.
Behind him, the blank stele remained bathed in the fading, golden light of dusk, quiet and entirely peaceful. The rich, floral fragrance of the balm lingered in the air before the grave—seemingly present, yet entirely intangible.
It was not until his tall figure completely vanished at the distant end of the mountain path that a sudden, sharp gust of wind swept through the clearing. The breeze shook the branches of a nearby tree, causing several golden maple leaves to drift down through the twilight. They landed softly, gently covering the glass boxes of balm, glittering in the fading light like freshly minted Mora.