Detective Conan: I'm a Boy, But They Treat Me Like a Big Sister — Chapter 96

Chapter 96: Kaitou Kid’s Fatal Weakness

Half an hour later, the grand banquet hall was a sea of glittering extravagance.

A live string quartet played a sweeping waltz in the corner, their notes floating beneath a canopy of massive crystal chandeliers. Guests in tailored suits and flowing evening gowns milled about the room, clinking champagne flutes and exchanging polished pleasantries. On the surface, the Suzuki Financial Group’s anniversary celebration maintained an air of absolute dignity, completely masking the chaotic security frenzy happening behind the scenes.

Returning to the main hall with Ran and Sonoko, Tōhō Getsukai barely had time to adjust his posture before Sonoko leaned in close, her breath tickling his ear as she whispered a conspiratorial complaint.

“Sister Tōhō, you are in serious danger right now.”

Ran immediately reached out, grabbing her best friend’s wrist. “Sonoko, don’t talk nonsense.”

“How am I talking nonsense?!” Sonoko protested, though she kept her voice hushed. “Kaitou Kid has to be thinking the exact same thing! Honestly, if I were the phantom thief, my eyes would be glued to Sister’s chest right now…”

Both girls instinctively dropped their gazes to the center of Tōhō’s collar, then snapped their heads back up in unison, the tips of their ears burning a bright, matching red.

Tōhō Getsukai lowered his eyes to the Black Star resting against his chest, raising a slender finger to tap the dark gem lightly.

“What rude things are you two thinking about?” he asked, his tone laced with gentle amusement.

“Nothing!” Ran answered entirely too fast.

Sonoko, on the other hand, simply gave up on hiding her shamelessness. “Okay, maybe a little bit. But not much!”

Chuckling softly, Tōhō Getsukai raised his hand and flicked Sonoko right on the forehead. “Still being stubborn at a time like this.”

“Ouch!” Sonoko slapped both hands over her forehead, instantly adopting the persona of a tragic victim. “Ran, look! Sister hit me! She clearly promised just a few minutes ago that she would protect cute, beautiful girls!”

“That’s because you had it coming,” Ran added quietly, ruthlessly twisting the knife.

While the three of them fooled around, a male guest standing by a marble pillar on the second floor subtly shifted his position.

The man wore a dark, immaculate suit. His hair was styled with precision, and the subtle gleam of his sophisticated brooch and cufflinks allowed him to blend perfectly into the sea of high-society elites.

But the very second Tōhō Getsukai stepped back into the hall, those eyes locked onto him.

Kaitou Kid.

Holding a half-empty glass of champagne, the disguised thief stood casually behind a group of middle-aged executives. He used the brief gap left by a passing waiter to pivot, his movements unhurried and entirely natural. He even reached out with a polite smile to steady the wine glass of a flustered lady who had nearly backed into him.

“Yuekui?”

A mature, elegant voice called out from behind.

Tomoko Suzuki glided across the carpet, flanked by two plainclothes officers.

Just as the matriarch approached, the phantom thief finally made his move. He didn’t walk straight toward Tōhō Getsukai. Instead, he smoothly struck up a conversation with a wealthy jeweler standing a few yards away. After exchanging a few pleasantries and a polite laugh, he shifted his footing, angling himself into a position with a perfectly clear line of sight to the Black Star.

It was the ideal distance. Not close enough to trigger suspicion, but close enough to close the gap in a heartbeat.

Hmm? He found the real one so quickly?

Glancing at the approaching thief from beneath his silver eyelashes, Tōhō Getsukai didn’t even need to guess. He had already activated Micro-expression Insight, peeling back the layers of the man’s flawless disguise to read the subtle, calculated shifts in his facial muscles.

Come to think of it, the Black Star wasn’t actually Kaitou Kid’s true target. Based on the thief’s established habits, since this particular gem wasn’t the mythical Pandora he was searching for, he would eventually return it anyway. Stolen or not, the end result was exactly the same.

Lowering his gaze, Tōhō Getsukai caught sight of a waiter pushing a silver dining cart approaching from his right.

Resting atop the cart was a massive, extravagant seafood platter. Crushed ice, bright yellow lemon wedges, premium shrimp, and snow crab legs formed a mountain of luxury. And right at the very top, meant to demonstrate the absolute freshness of the Suzuki family’s catering, rested a massive live fish.

The fish was incredibly fat. Its tail thrashed against the ice with a wet, rhythmic slap, slap, slap.

Perfect. The pre-arranged prop is in position.

With a calm, calculated thought, Tōhō Getsukai slowly shifted his weight backward by half a step.

The timing was flawless. The man in the gray suit was now less than five steps away. The thief tilted his red wine glass just a fraction of an inch, preparing to execute the classic “accidental toast” maneuver to spill his drink and create an opening.

Before Kaito could take that final step, Tōhō Getsukai feigned a sudden stumble.

He didn’t just trip; he made it look like a graceful, helpless accident. His tall figure leaned sharply to the left, a cascade of silver hair brushing through the air as his entire body tumbled forward, carrying his momentum directly into Tomoko Suzuki’s waiting arms.

“Ah… I’m sorry, Aunt Tomoko. I suddenly twisted my ankle.”

A delicate, fragrant breeze swept over Tomoko’s face, catching the noblewoman completely off guard. Subconsciously reaching out to catch Tōhō Getsukai, her hands wrapped around his slender waist. The incredible softness in her arms made the seasoned matriarch freeze in place.

The child felt impossibly delicate, carrying a faint, clean scent of blooming flowers that could only be noticed this close.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you. Stand steady,” Tomoko murmured. She kept her arm firmly wrapped around his waist, making absolutely no move to let go. With her free hand, she gently brushed a stray lock of silver hair off his shoulder. “Are your shoes uncomfortable?”

“Hmm… they’re borrowed,” Tōhō Getsukai replied softly. He leaned comfortably against Tomoko’s chest, making no immediate effort to stand up. His voice carried a faint, irresistible hint of a spoiled child seeking comfort.

Tomoko Suzuki had originally opened her mouth to tell him to stand up straight, but that single, obedient ‘Hmm’ completely melted her resolve. The tiny bit of aristocratic strictness in her heart vanished without a trace.

Honestly, who could bear to scold such a breathtakingly beautiful child?

Standing off to the side, Sonoko watched the entire exchange with a completely numb expression.

“Mom! Don’t hold him so naturally!”

Tomoko ignored her daughter entirely. In fact, the arm wrapped around Tōhō’s waist tightened just a fraction more. “Yuekui almost fell. What’s wrong with me helping him?”

“Is that just helping?! You’ve already started stroking Sister’s hair!”

Ran hovered nervously, her hands fluttering. “Aunt Tomoko, if Sister is okay…”

“Ran, don’t be nervous.”

While offering Ran a reassuring smile, Tōhō Getsukai swept his peripheral vision toward the dining cart to watch the physics of his trap unfold.

Startled by Tōhō’s sudden stumble, the waiter had subconsciously jerked the cart to the right to avoid hitting him. The heavy brass wheels slammed hard into the thick, raised edge of the banquet carpet.

The entire cart violently violently.

A cascade of crushed ice slid off the silver platter. As the tray tilted past the point of no return, the fat, live fish gave one final, desperate flick of its tail.

It launched off the ice like a scaly missile, flying through the air with a wet smack, and landed squarely against Kaito Kid’s chest.

For one second, the entire banquet hall went dead silent.

The wet tail slapped violently against the lapel of his immaculate suit. In an instant, Kaitou Kid’s legendary, unbreakable poker face shattered into a million irrecoverable pieces.

“Ahhhhhhhh!”

A shrill, horrifying scream pierced the elegant atmosphere. It was a sound completely devoid of dignity, causing dozens of high-society guests to snap their heads around in shock.

“His screaming… isn’t it a bit too miserable?” Sonoko muttered, her jaw dropping. “It’s just a fish.”

Still leaning comfortably in Tomoko Suzuki’s embrace, Tōhō Getsukai gave a soft, delicate cough. “Everyone has things they are afraid of.”

And for Kaitou Kid, the thing he feared most in the entire world was fish.

Tomoko Suzuki looked down at the silver-haired beauty in her arms, her eyes narrowing slightly. “Yuekui… did you do that?”

“I tripped.” Tōhō Getsukai blinked his large eyes, looking up at her with pure, unadulterated innocence. “Aunt Tomoko is wronging me.”

Tomoko let out a rich laugh, raising her hand to smooth his long hair once more. “With that look, it’s really impossible to hold you accountable.”

“Mom! Don’t be fooled by Sister’s face! She definitely did that on purpose!” Sonoko stomped her foot, unable to suppress a sudden wave of jealousy.

“Sonoko, where is your evidence?”

“…Damn it! Even the mistress of a wealthy family plays this game!”

A few yards away, the disguised male guest had completely abandoned any pretense of composure.

He shrieked, violently swatting the thrashing fish off his chest. Scrambling backward in sheer terror, his polished leather shoe caught on a scattered chunk of ice. He flailed wildly, nearly crashing backward into a towering tiered cake on the dessert table.

The overpowering, slimy stench of raw fish scales filled his nostrils. He clamped both hands over his mouth and nose, his eyes wide with the absolute verge of a mental breakdown.

Spotting the chaos from across the room, Inspector Ginzō Nakamori immediately charged forward, a squad of officers trailing behind him. “What happened?! Clear the way!”

The moment the word ‘police’ registered in his panicked brain, the male guest’s survival instincts kicked in. He spun around and bolted.

But there was no phantom thief elegance left in his stride.

He shoved past two bewildered socialites, wildly bypassed a dining table, nearly lost his top hat in the process, and sprinted frantically toward the restroom corridor, still gagging behind his hands.

Whispers erupted across the banquet floor.

“What on earth is wrong with that gentleman?”

“Is he… afraid of a fish?”

“A grown man, terrified to that extent?”

“No, no, it must be a severe allergy.”

“Wait! That guy is highly suspicious!” Nakamori roared, pointing a finger at the retreating figure.

“Could it be… Kaitou Kid?!”

Bursting out from behind a decorative pillar, Kogoro Mouri suddenly appeared, a plate piled high with roasted meat balanced in his hand. “What?! Kaitou Kid appeared?! Where? Where is he?!”

“He just ran that way!” Ran pointed urgently toward the restroom corridor.

“Damn it! To think he would dare run away right in front of me, the Great Detective Kogoro Mouri!”

Kogoro slammed his plate down onto a nearby cocktail table and broke into a sprint. After three steps, he skidded to a halt, spun around, grabbed a massive piece of barbecue off the plate, and shoved it into his mouth. “Can’t let good meat go to waste!” he mumbled through a mouthful of beef before resuming the chase.

With the chaos moving away, Tōhō Getsukai finally stood up straight, leisurely stepping out of Tomoko’s embrace. Ran immediately rushed forward, anxiously checking the hem of his dress.

“Sister, are you absolutely sure you didn’t hurt yourself?”

“No, I’m perfectly fine.”

Sonoko circled around him, her eyes practically glowing with curiosity. “That guy just now… was that really Kaitou Kid?”

“I don’t know either…”

Tōhō Getsukai lied effortlessly, his gaze drifting toward the distant restroom doors.

He had slipped away for a few minutes earlier in the evening, specifically to prepare a little welcoming gift for the famous thief. He knew exactly how Kaito operated. Whether the thief tried to hide in the ventilation ducts or barricade himself in a changing room—Tōhō had anticipated every single escape route.

If he was going to strike, he preferred to be thorough.

A single fish to the chest was merely the appetizer. The real surprise was already waiting for him.

Inside the men’s restroom, Kaito Kuroba slammed the heavy wooden door shut and threw the deadbolt.

He stumbled toward the marble sinks, leaning heavily against the counter as his stomach heaved. He ripped off his bowtie with trembling fingers, his breathing ragged.

The reflection staring back at him in the mirror was a disaster. His immaculate shirt was soaked in cold, foul-smelling fish water, and several silver scales were plastered to his lapel. The very concept of ‘elegance’ had just been flushed straight down the nearest sewer pipe.

Kaitou Kid… actually repelled by a flying fish.

If this ever made it into the newspapers, he might as well retire on the spot and move to another country.

“What on earth is up with that woman…” he wheezed, his teeth grinding together as he reached out to crank the golden faucet.

Just as the water started running, a faint, scraping noise echoed from the metal ventilation duct directly above his head.

Pitter-patter.

A single drop of cold, foul-smelling water landed squarely on the crown of his head.

Kaito froze. His hands gripped the edges of the sink so hard his knuckles turned white. Slowly, agonizingly, he tilted his head back and looked up.

Behind the narrow metal louvers of the ceiling vent, dozens of wet, slimy fish tails were violently thrashing against the grate, their dead, glassy eyes pressing against the gaps.

At a rough estimate, there had to be at least thirty of them crammed inside the narrow metal shaft.

Kaito stared at the writhing mass of scales, his soul slowly leaving his body as he tried to comprehend what kind of absolute psychopath would be bored enough to stuff an entire fish market into a ceiling vent.