Detective Conan: I'm a Boy, But They Treat Me Like a Big Sister — Chapter 52

Chapter 52: Two Aunties Fighting Over One Kid

The journey from the Kudo Residence to Eri Kisaki’s apartment yielded exactly two massive suitcases.

Tōhō Getsukai carried one in each hand, his steps steady and even. Beside him, Yukiko skipped along the pavement completely empty-handed. Every so often, she would reach out a single manicured finger to lightly tap one of the suitcase handles, a contribution roughly equivalent to a hood ornament on a car.

“Yuekui-chan is so amazing, you aren’t even panting at all.”

“Yukiko, could you at least carry a handbag to simulate some effort?”

“I am carrying one.” Yukiko held up a palm-sized chain bag, shaking it so the metal clinked. “This is super heavy. It has to weigh at least three hundred grams.”

Tōhō Getsukai chose the path of wise silence.

Unlocking the door, he wrestled the luggage into the entryway. Yukiko immediately kicked off her shoes, slid into a pair of guest slippers, and practically danced into the living room. Her eyes darted around, taking inventory of the space.

“Eri, this place hasn’t changed a bit! Wait, did you change the sofa? And the curtains? My, your taste has actually improved.”

Without waiting for an invitation, she plopped herself right in the center of the sofa, crossing her long legs. She leaned forward, casually plucked Eri’s favorite mug from the coffee table, and took a sip.

“Hmm. She is still drinking this exact brand of black tea.”

Tōhō Getsukai stacked the two suitcases neatly against the wall and glanced at the clock. Nine-forty. Auntie Eri had promised to be home before ten. Perfect timing.

He turned and slipped into the kitchen to prepare dessert. He had already made the tiramisu yesterday and left it to chill in the refrigerator; now, it just needed to be sliced and plated. He carefully cut three even portions, placing them on delicate porcelain saucers. A light dusting of rich cocoa powder and a single, crisp mint leaf finished each plate.

Right on cue, the sound of a key turning in the lock echoed through the apartment. The sharp, authoritative click of high heels against the floorboards transitioned into the softer shuffle of slippers.

“Tōhō, I’m home. Today was…”

Eri’s voice trailed off. Her footsteps halted right at the edge of the living room.

There on the sofa sat Yukiko, legs crossed, waving cheerfully as if she owned the deed to the apartment.

“Eri! Long time no see!”

Yukiko sprang up, spreading her arms wide for a dramatic embrace. Eri didn’t even blink. She simply took a half-step to the side. The former superstar actress grabbed nothing but air, stumbling forward and nearly planting a kiss directly onto the wooden shoe cabinet.

Maintaining her flawless composure, Eri set her leather briefcase on the entryway console. She walked into the living room and took a seat on the opposite end of the sofa. Her movements were measured, her posture impeccably straight. The Queen of Law was holding court.

“Yukiko. When did you get back to the country? And why aren’t you staying at your own house?”

“Living alone is just so boring.”

Yukiko pouted, delivering the line with such brazen entitlement it transcended annoyance and became an art form. She spoke as if the entire world was obligated to foot the bill for her social needs.

Eri rolled her eyes, her gaze drifting toward the entryway where the two massive suitcases sat. This was clearly the setup for a long-term hostile takeover.

Tōhō Getsukai emerged from the kitchen right as the tension peaked, balancing a silver tray holding the three plates of tiramisu.

“Auntie Eri, you’ve worked hard today. Please, have something sweet.” His smile was gentle, the absolute picture of a perfect, caring maiden.

Eri accepted the plate, her sharp eyes softening instantly as she nodded at him. ‘My little Tōhō is simply the best,’she thought, taking a small bite.’The more I look at him, the more I adore him.’

Yukiko, meanwhile, had already buried her fork into her portion. After one bite, she leaned back against the cushions and let out a dramatic, swooning sigh.

“My god! Yuekui-chan, your culinary skills are practically a cheat code!” She scooped up another massive bite, shaking her head in sheer bliss. “That foolish child Shinichi only ever eats instant noodles and boxed curry over at Dr. Agasa’s house. He can’t even fry an egg. He is living like a complete caveman every single day.”

Taking a seat on the single armchair, Tōhō elegantly cut a small piece of his own dessert. “So Shinichi has no one to take care of him, which means he can’t even manage a proper meal.”

The schadenfreude in his tone was subtle, but entirely deliberate.

Yukiko waved her fork dismissively, entirely devoid of maternal guilt. “He has Dr. Agasa! Besides, he is already a Great Detective who solves cases on his own. He can’t cling to his mother forever, right? Boys need to roam free.”

Eri set her fork down, delicately dabbing the corner of her mouth with a napkin. “I just heard from Tōhō yesterday that your precious Shinichi seems to have shrunk into an elementary school student.” Her eyes narrowed. “And you, as his mother, instead of staying by his side to take care of him, ran straight to my apartment to freeload?”

Yukiko didn’t flinch. She just leaned deeper into the plush sofa cushions. “Eri, it is not like you don’t know the situation. If I stay at the Kudo residence, it is far too easy to attract the attention of those people.”

She drew out the last syllable, then pointed her silver fork directly at Tōhō, who was quietly enjoying his tiramisu.

“Besides… didn’t you raise your develop son to be a full-time nanny? Yuekui-chan has been making you breakfast every single morning since he was ten years old, hasn’t he?”

Eri’s elegant posture stiffened. A rare flash of embarrassment crossed her features.

Sensing blood in the water, Yukiko pressed her advantage, tilting her head with an innocent, devastating smile. “Come to think of it, you dumped your own daughter to be raised by Kogoro, yet you’ve taken such careful care of Yuekui-chan. Could it be that you actually like Yuekui-chan more, Eri?”

Eri placed her porcelain plate on the coffee table. She crossed her legs, slipping effortlessly into her icy courtroom cadence. “You are the one who just stuffed her face with Tōhō’s cooking, praised it to the heavens, and then flat-out refused to leave someone else’s home. Tell me, who is truly the shameless one here?”

The verbal crossfire between the two mature women rapidly escalated into a white-hot stage.

Yukiko mocked Eri’s catastrophic lack of domestic skills, loudly declaring that the lawyer could somehow manage to burn water for instant noodles.

Tōhō smoothly poured more hot tea. “Auntie is incredibly busy with her legal work. She has so many important cases to handle.”

Eri fired back, accusing Yukiko of gross parental negligence for abandoning her son to fly abroad and party.

Tōhō offered a gentle smile. “Shinichi is a genius, and geniuses thrive when they aren’t overly micromanaged.”

Both women paused, each firmly believing that Tōhō was taking her side.

Inwardly, Tōhō felt absolutely zero turmoil. Playing both sides of the fence and keeping these two happy was as natural as breathing to him.

“Hmph…” Eri picked up her teacup, her icy demeanor melting into an unusually soft tone. “Tōhō has been wonderfully considerate since he was a little boy. I never even had to teach him anything. He was simply born knowing how to take care of people.”

Yukiko immediately puffed out her chest, refusing to be outdone. “I watched him grow up too, you know!” She slammed her fork down and declared with absolute, righteous pride. “Yuekui-chan is a child that Eri and I raised together!”

The living room plunged into dead silence.

Eri froze, her teacup hovering an inch from her lips.

Even Yukiko blinked, her own words echoing in her ears. The implication of two women raising a child together hung heavily in the air.

Realizing exactly how that sounded, Yukiko slapped a hand over her mouth. She inhaled sharply, choked on her own saliva, and curled into a coughing fit on the sofa.

“Cough! Cough, cough… I didn’t mean it like that! I meant we both watched him grow up together!”

“Yukiko.” Eri’s voice was dangerously low. “Can you please use your brain before you open your mouth?”

Yukiko kept her hands over her face, looking utterly mortified. The former superstar’s legendary acting skills were entirely useless right now, mostly because this was not an act.

Hours later, the apartment settled into the quiet of late night.

The three of them had finished washing up, leaving the hallway smelling faintly of expensive body wash and floral skincare lotions.

Yukiko dragged her suitcase down the hall toward the guest room. But as she passed Tōhō’s door, her footsteps ceased.

She turned, tilting her head. Her wine-red curls cascaded over her shoulders, and the collar of her silk pajamas hung just open enough to be distracting.

“Yuekui-chan~”

The sweet, coquettish tone of a young maiden slipped from the lips of a married mother with absolutely zero dissonance. It was a terrifying display of a former actress’s true nature.

“Can you sleep with me tonight? I just haven’t been able to sleep well at all since coming back to the country.”

Before Tōhō could even formulate a polite refusal, the door across the hallway clicked open.

Half of Eri’s exquisite face appeared in the gap. Stripped of her sharp courtroom makeup, her hair tucked neatly behind her ears, she looked less like a legal shark and far more domestic, though her glare was just as piercing.

“Yukiko. The guest room is over there.”

Yukiko wasn’t intimidated in the slightest. Instead, her smile widened into something impossibly bright and mischievous.

“Then why don’t you come too, Eri? A three-person sleepover is just right!”