Arknights: The Holy Son's Leisurely Life — Chapter 22

Chapter 22: The Cuckolder Is Always Cuckolded

Lucian had a dream.

In his slumber, he found himself back within the Grand Basilica of Laterano. The vaulted ceiling stretched high above, far too opulent and grandiose to serve as a place for peaceful rest. A heavy, suffocating weight pressed down on his chest, pinning his limbs as if his veins flowed with liquid lead.

A blue-haired Sankta straddled his waist.

She was slightly older than him, the one person he considered closest to family. Yet, in this hazy space, she felt entirely alien.

Mostima had always been flawless. Unlike the others, she lacked that blind, fervent devotion toward him. Instead, she preferred to tease him, hiding a cunning mischief behind her pristine smiles. But the moment she donned her ceremonial vestments to preside over the rites, she transformed into the most devout and untouchable Angelic Elder.

That sacred beauty had often captivated him. She was a massive part of the reason he had ever tolerated the suffocating boredom of Laterano.

Then, right before his eyes, she changed.

Her pure white halo flickered and dimmed. The radiant wings at her back withered, turning tattered and gray. From the sides of her head, two jagged black horns tore through the skin, and a slender, spade-tipped tail curled behind her.

These were no longer the traits of a Sankta. They belonged to a Sarkaz. A demon.

What happened? Why did she fall?

His thoughts crawled through mud. Time stretched into an infinite crawl, every second agonizingly slow. The newly transformed Fallen Angel stared down at him. Cold sweat beaded on her pale face, yet her lips curved into a deeply satisfied, tragic smile.

“I have wanted to do this for a long time,” she whispered, her voice echoing. “My dear Lord, please remember me forever. Remember the me who committed a great sin.”

Why did she sound like she was saying a final goodbye?

A sudden, unprovoked fury ignited in his chest. The invisible force suppressing his body began to crack under his resistance.

Commit a great sin? Is that all you have to say?

What an absolute joke. If I had known you were going to pull something like this, I would have made my move years ago! What do you think I have been waiting for all this time?!

He could see the unshed tears trembling beneath her smile. Refusing to be held down a second longer, he violently shattered the strange suppression and grabbed her wrist.

As shock widened her eyes, he roared her name.

“Mostima, you stupid woman!”

Lucian snapped awake, his upper body shooting upright like a coiled spring.

Reality crashed back into him. He was not in Laterano. The mattress beneath him was not the absurdly massive, six-person luxury bed of his past, but a stiff, narrow single bed that left his spine aching.

And his hand was currently clamped in a death grip around someone else’s wrist.

Big Sis Hoshiguma sat on the edge of the mattress, looking mildly startled. “You scared me. You have a lot more grip strength than I gave you credit for.”

“Big Sis Hoshiguma… Ah, my bad.”

He hastily released her wrist, feeling incredibly awkward as fragments of last night trickled back into his throbbing skull. He had made a complete fool of himself again, drinking until he blacked out. It was a recurring disaster whenever he tried to keep pace with her.

His body felt entirely wrong. He ached everywhere, as if a heavy weight had been pressing him into the mattress for hours. Worse, his lips felt completely numb and swollen, an awful, tingling sensation that made no sense.

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Sorry about that. Did I say anything weird just now?”

“No. Having a nightmare?” Hoshiguma replied with perfect calm, lightly massaging the wrist he had just squeezed. “If you are awake, get up. You reek of booze and sweat. I am going to have to strip these sheets and wash the blankets.”

Lucian scrambled out of bed, his face burning with embarrassment. “Sorry, sorry. Let me handle the laundry. I will pay for the dry cleaning too.”

Hoshiguma shoved him lightly with her elbow. “Keep your pocket change. Get out of here. I do not have any clothes that will fit you anyway. Go home and take a shower.”

“Got it.” He nodded obediently.

He really had messed up this time. On top of the blackout, that dark, shameful memory of a dream had left his nerves completely frayed.

Before stepping out the door, he turned back. “I will definitely make this up to you. Big Sis Hoshiguma, if you ever need a favor, just say the word.”

She just waved him off with an impatient flick of her hand.

Lucian could not help but admire her. Big Sis Hoshiguma was just too cool. She was more of a stand-up guy than most actual men. Having a big brother like her was the best. Nodding in deep appreciation of their platonic bond, he began the trek home.

It was already noon. The glaring Lungmen sun beat down mercilessly on his hungover skull, making every step a miserable chore. He had stayed out the entire night. Exusiai was absolutely going to skin him alive. What a massive headache.

‘I hope they managed the tea shop okay without me,’he thought, rubbing his temples.’This is my responsibility. How embarrassing.’

Reflecting on his poor life choices, he finally reached the shared apartment. It was dead quiet inside; the others were likely out. Smelling like a brewery, his only goal was to sneak into the bathroom and scrub the shame away.

He pushed open the door to his bedroom.

Exusiai sat dead center on his bed, radiating the menacing aura of a temple guardian deity. She glared daggers at him. “You are late!”

“I am so sorry!” Lucian folded instantly.

Rule number one of survival: never try to out-stubborn an angry Exusiai. He dropped down and expertly wrapped his arms around her leg. “Exusiai, I swear it was not on purpose! There is a perfectly logical explanation for all of this! You have to hear me out!”

She narrowed her eyes, staring down at the smelly man clinging to her thigh. She let out a cold snort. “Go on, then. Explain. I am all ears. Let me guess, it was just women, women, and more women, right? You spent the entire day fooling around with other girls, did you not?”

“……………… Pretty much?”

He racked his brain for a solid minute before realizing he literally had no counterargument. Yesterday, he had spent his time with Crownslayer, Lin Yuxia, and Hoshiguma. All of them were, objectively, women.

But why did it sound so incriminating? He had been handling serious business all day, yet saying it out loud made him sound like a total degenerate.

Exusiai’s face darkened further, her cheeks puffing out in pure outrage. “You stink of alcohol. You were with that green Oni, were you not? Did you sleep at her place?!”

He nodded with brutal honesty. “I bumped into Big Sis Hoshiguma and we ended up having a few drinks. But Exusiai, you really do not need to hate her so much. She is a genuinely good person.”

“Who knows,” Exusiai scoffed, turning her head away. “She dislikes me just as much. She just hides it better.”

Lucian completely missed the underlying tension in her words. Exusiai was a social butterfly. She could maintain a bright smile and strike up a conversation with a brick wall; her social intelligence was leagues above his own. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, while she got along perfectly fine with Texas and Croissant, she had a terrible relationship with Ch’en, Swire, Lin Yuxia, and Hoshiguma.

They were not exactly blood enemies, but whenever she ended up in the same room as any of them, the atmosphere would freeze over. He had no idea what invisible competition they were fighting.

Fueled by a sudden spike of irritation, Exusiai poked his shoulder with her knee. “You stink! Go take a shower! I have not eaten a single thing since last night, and I am starving!”

“Alright, alright, I will go cook right now.”

Why was this girl acting like a starving baby bird? He sighed internally, completely bewildered by her mood swings.

He started to push himself up from the floor.

Suddenly, Exusiai’s sharp eyes locked onto his collar. “Wait.”

She leaned forward, her movements slow and cautious, and hooked a finger under the edge of his shirt, pulling the fabric aside.

A cluster of dark red marks painted the side of his neck. Whether they were from a rough collision or something pressing deeply into his skin, the sight of them instantly warped Exusiai’s expression into that of a wrathful demon.

“Alright. Is this a formal declaration of war against me?” Her voice dropped to a terrifyingly sweet whisper. “Well played, you Oni…”

“Hold on, friend.” Lucian raised a hand, his face the picture of utter seriousness. “I have no idea what you are talking about, but Big Sis Hoshiguma’s last name definitely is not Oni—”

“Shut up!”

Exusiai completely snapped, her halo flaring blindingly bright as she entered Super Overload mode.