Arknights: It Can't Possibly Be My Fault... Right? — Chapter 71

Chapter 71: How to Decorate the New Office?

“Miss Shi! Would you kindly face reality for once in your life?!”

“My surname is Ch’en, not Shi!”

The struggle between the dragon and the tiger raged on, threatening to tear the room apart. Kai and M3 sat comfortably side by side on a plush leather sofa, cracking melon seeds between their teeth as they enjoyed the free theatrical performance playing out before them.

Just as the two feline and draconic officers were about to escalate from verbal barbs to physical blows, the heavy oak door of the reception room swung open. The “Ogre’s Worry”—Hoshiguma—had finally arrived.

She had only stepped out briefly to check on the perimeter established by the rest of the Guard Department. How had the room devolved into a hellish battlefield in the span of five minutes? Ch’en and Swire were practically lunging across the table, hands raised as if ready to strangle one another. Meanwhile, Kai and M3, who had slipped in at some unknown point, were lounging in the corner with a neat little pile of discarded seed shells resting on a napkin, watching the chaos with deep interest.

“What are you two doing now?” Hoshiguma groaned, rubbing her temples as she stepped forward, using her towering frame as a physical barrier to pry the bickering women apart. “I turn my back for one second… Please, don’t let Rhodes Island see us making fools of ourselves.”

“Hoshiguma! You be the judge!” The two officers, now forcibly separated, shouted in perfect, furious unison.

They paused, glaring daggers at each other.

“Why are you copying me?!” they demanded simultaneously.

“Who would ever copy you?!” they spat, turning their heads away in mutual disgust.

“…Gods, can’t you two give me a break?” Facing this relentless dragon-tiger clash, the towering Oni let out a long, exhausted sigh. She then blinked, taking in Swire’s thoroughly disheveled state. “And Miss Swire… why are you soaking wet? You look like you just lost a fight with a street sprinkler.”

“Huh?!” Swire let out a sharp, indignant shriek, her damp feline ears flattening against her head. “Then why don’t you ask your dear Madam Ch’en?!”

“It was a necessary tactical measure,” Ch’en retorted, her voice cold and merciless in the face of her colleague’s accusation. “We don’t have the luxury of wasting time here trying to gently wake you up.”

“Tsk… both of you, just drop it. It won’t kill you to be civil.” Hoshiguma covered her face with a massive hand, feeling a migraine coming on.

“Yo, Officer Hoshiguma.” Seeing that the main act of the drama had concluded, Kai brushed the seed dust from his hands and stepped forward, M3 trailing silently beside him like a slender, elegant shadow.

“Ah. Sorry you had to witness that embarrassing display,” Hoshiguma said, offering a weary but polite smile. “You made it back faster than I anticipated. Regarding the matter of us leaving you behind earlier…”

Kai waved it off with an easygoing grin. “Don’t sweat it. We’re friends, aren’t we? Besides, apologies aren’t what’s important right now.” His expression sobered slightly. “The situation out there in Lungmen isn’t looking too optimistic, is it?”

“It’s manageable. I wouldn’t call it a complete wipeout. Those Reunion Movement thugs are ultimately just a disorganized rabble,” Swire chimed in, wringing out the hem of her damp jacket. She then turned to Kai, lifting her chin with practiced elegance. “I am Swire. That is a codename, naturally, but you may also address me as Beatrix Swire.”

“Pfft. As if any ordinary person could tell the difference between your codename and your actual surname,” Ch’en interjected from the sidelines, her tone dripping with dry dismissal.

“You—!” Swire bristled, her claws unsheathing slightly.

“Hey, hey, that’s enough!” Hoshiguma pleaded, stepping into the line of fire once more. “Honestly, Old Ch’en, Swire is actually injured right now. Please, I’m begging you, just let it go…” Watching these two natural rivals clash was going to make the Oni go prematurely bald.

“Ah… well, moving on,” Kai smoothly intervened, steering the conversation away from another explosion. Hoshiguma shot him a look of deep gratitude. “What are your plans? Do you need a hand from Rhodes Island?”

Swire shot one last venomous glare at Ch’en before smoothing her damp hair. “…I appreciate the kindness, but Rhodes Island likely requires the bulk of its personnel to secure your landship. Lungmen can be handled by the Guard Department itself.”

Kai exchanged a brief, knowing glance with M3. He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Actually, Rhodes Island doesn’t need to hold back that many operators anymore. After getting repelled a few times, Reunion has figured out that our landship isn’t an easy target. They’ve largely pulled back from our perimeter and are likely preparing to rendezvous with their main force deeper inside the city.”

He offered a reassuring smile. “We can spare a few elite squads to deploy with you. They’ll follow Officer Ch’en’s command and help you take back Lungmen.”

Swire opened her mouth, ready to issue another polite refusal, but Ch’en stepped past her. “First of all,” the Lungmen officer stated firmly, “Lungmen does not need to be ‘taken back,’ because the Reunion Movement is far from actually conquering it. Second…”

The harsh edge in Ch’en’s voice melted away, leaving a rare, quiet sincerity. “Thank you. I think this is exactly what we need right now.”

Kai waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t mention it. It’s what allies do. I’ll let you guys carry on with your debrief. If anything comes up, just contact Amiya or Dr. Kal’tsit.”

Having gotten his fill of the entertainment, Kai decided it was time to make a graceful exit. The Guard Department trio clearly had internal matters to discuss, and he had no intention of overstaying his welcome.

The moment the heavy door clicked shut behind Kai and M3, a heavy silence fell over the room. The three officers stood still, ensuring no one else was lingering in the hallway. Once satisfied, Swire locked the door and crossed her arms.

“Hmph! At least you’re not a complete idiot, you Silly Dragon. You actually knew to cooperate with my act.”

“…Don’t get the wrong idea,” Ch’en replied, shaking her head. “I accepted their help because they are genuine friends of Lungmen. Even if they hadn’t offered, I wouldn’t have pushed for more.” She had merely played along with Swire’s little routine to secure the reinforcement without seeming desperate. She knew Amiya and the others wouldn’t take offense, but she still made a mental note to apologize to the young Cautus later.

“Oh? Friends of Lungmen?” Swire leaned in close, a mischievous, teasing lilt in her voice. “I think they’re friends of our dear Madam Ch’en instead~” She poked Ch’en’s shoulder. “You know perfectly well what we’re doing. Even if Reunion isn’t as formidable as we initially feared, we absolutely need Rhodes Island’s strength to stabilize the streets. It pays to be cautious. This is for the sake of Lungmen.”

“…I understand. That’s exactly why I didn’t refuse.” Ch’en nodded slowly, her gaze dropping to the floor. “By the way… those things I said earlier, in the heat of the moment… don’t take them to heart.”

Swire froze. Her jaw practically unhinged.

“Huh?! Did I hear that right, Hoshiguma?” she gasped, her voice dripping with exaggerated theatrical shock. “Our Madam Ch’en Hui-chieh, a woman historically as stubborn as a Terran packbeast, actually learned how to apologize on her own?! Are you okay? Did a stray Originium bullet get lodged in your prefrontal cortex?!”

Veins visibly throbbed against Ch’en’s temples. Seeing the impending eruption, Hoshiguma hurriedly stepped between them, raising her hands to catch the inevitable blows.

But to the utter astonishment of both women, Ch’en didn’t lash out. She didn’t even offer a biting retort. Instead, the tension bled out of her shoulders. She let out a soft sigh, shook her head, and quietly sat down on the leather sofa.

This deeply “abnormal” behavior instantly shifted Hoshiguma and Swire’s amusement into genuine concern.

“Old Ch’en… what’s wrong?” Hoshiguma asked softly, crouching down to her eye level. “If you’re feeling unwell, don’t bottle it up. I know you must be feeling guilty right now. Amiya and the others have been nothing but sincere toward Lungmen, and you had your reasons for acting the way you did…”

“Hey!” Swire barked, dropping the haughty act entirely. “You weren’t actually concussed by that blast, were you? I thought I was the only one who got caught in the explosion! You Silly Dragon, don’t scare us like this!”

Hearing the raw, unfiltered concern from her two closest comrades, Ch’en couldn’t help but let a genuine, uncharacteristically warm smile curl her lips. She barely registered the specifics of their frantic questions; she was just struck by the sudden realization of how much of a headache her past self must have been to deal with.

Hoshiguma was right—she had felt uneasy about manipulating Rhodes Island. But after her last conversation with Amiya, that heavy guilt had begun to dissipate. She knew that as long as she offered a sincere apology, Amiya would forgive her. After all, she was such a kind, understanding little rabbit.

Seeing Ch’en sitting there in absolute silence, grinning to herself like a lovestruck fool, Swire felt a cold sweat break out on her neck. It’s over… she thought in horror. This Silly Dragon has actually gone brain-dead. How did she end up like this after just a few days apart? Is it too late to submit an application to the Chief to take over her position?

“Hoshiguma…” Ch’en murmured softly, breaking the silence.

“Hmm? What is it?” the Oni asked, leaning in attentively.

“How do you think I should decorate my new office?”

“Huh???”