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ArabicArknights: It Can't Possibly Be My Fault... Right? — Chapter 39
Chapter 39: A Gathering of Demons
“Wah, wah, wah! The Old Cat is such a tyrant. If she didn’t want to give it to me, she could have just said no. Did she really have to resort to domestic violence?” Kai grumbled, gingerly rubbing the throbbing, fist-sized bump rising on the crown of his head. He trudged down the metallic corridors of Rhodes Island, flanked by the tiny Feline sniper, Rosmontis, and the newly humanized M3.
Beside him, Rosmontis reached up with her small hands, gently patting his arm in a soothing rhythm. “Don’t cry, Kai. Don’t cry,” she murmured softly, her large eyes filled with earnest concern.
“Ugh, Xiangxiang, you’re the only one in this whole landship who actually cares about my well-being,” Kai dramatically sniffled, leaning down to scoop the small girl into his arms. He had always been able to lift her, but lately, his physical strength had surged, making her weight feel entirely negligible. “As a reward for your boundless empathy, I’m going to take you to see something incredibly fun.”
“Something fun?” Rosmontis tilted her head, her fluffy ears twitching in mild confusion.
“Yeah, yeah. Super fun,” M3 chimed in from his other side, nodding sagely. Though her primary directive to protect Kai had technically concluded, Kal’tsit hadn’t bothered to issue any new operational orders. Left to her own devices, M3 had made the executive decision to simply stick to Kai like glue. The logic was sound: wherever this chaotic anomaly of a man went, highly entertaining disasters were sure to follow.
Rosmontis blinked, her gaze drifting toward the tall, black-haired woman walking beside them. A faint fog of confusion clouded her amber eyes. She had very little recollection of this big sister who suddenly seemed permanently attached to Kai’s hip. Who was she again?
Pausing her thoughts, the little Feline carefully pulled out her personal voice recorder from her pocket. She scrolled through her most recent audio logs until she found the relevant entry. The playback whispered in her own voice: ‘The tall, black-haired big sister who looks a lot like Dr. Kal’tsit is named M3.’
“Hello, Sister M3. I am Rosmontis,” she greeted politely, her tone completely serious.
“Mhm. Hello, hello,” M3 replied, entirely unfazed by the fact that this exact exchange had occurred less than twenty minutes ago when they first left the medical ward. She reached out and gave Rosmontis’s head a gentle, affectionate pat. In response, the little Feline obediently nuzzled her cheek against M3’s palm, a soft purr vibrating in her throat.
The trio finally arrived at the heavy blast doors of the recreational sector. Calling it a ‘bar’ was a bit of a stretch—it was officially designated as one of Rhodes Island’s multi-purpose lounge areas. However, since it was stocked with alcoholic beverages, featured a sprawling counter, and was conveniently situated right next to the main cafeteria, it had naturally evolved into the landship’s premier party destination.
“We’re here, we’re here! Hahaha, how could I possibly miss the grand celebration party thrown in my absolute honor!” Kai declared with a theatrical flourish. He reached out, slammed his hand against the access panel, and confidently strode into the lounge.
The very second his boots crossed the threshold, Kai’s reflexes kicked in. His hand snapped up, clamping firmly over Rosmontis’s innocent eyes.
The reason for this sudden censorship was glaringly obvious. Dead center in the room, standing atop a reinforced steel table, was the Liberi Vanguard, Elysium. He was completely shirtless, his jacket discarded somewhere in the abyss, and he was aggressively tap-dancing. Beside him, matching his chaotic rhythm step-for-step, was the Doctor.
What in the name of Terra is going on here? Kai thought, his jaw slightly slack.
He leaned back, double-checking the digital signage mounted by the door. Lounge 3. Yep, this was the right place. He squinted, re-evaluating his life choices.
M3 peeked around the doorframe, her sharp eyes scanning the room. She instantly locked onto the heavily intoxicated Elysium and the ring of cheering Operators recording the spectacle on their terminals. After a brief, calculating pause, M3’s internal logic processors came to a firm conclusion: for the next few days—no, the next few weeks—she would actively improve her patrol routes to avoid Elysium at all costs.
Near the edge of the tap-dancing table, Thorns was holding up his personal terminal, diligently recording the historical moment. However, Kai noticed that the Aegir’s screen was displaying his own face—he had the front-facing camera turned on. Well, Kai mused dryly, having dark skin certainly has its perks. Even when he’s completely plastered, you can’t see the blush.
Shifting his gaze through the strobe-lit madness, Kai spotted Sister Y.P. standing near the lounge’s periphery, aggressively reprimanding Elite Operator ACE and the towering Oni, Hoshiguma. Both seasoned veterans were standing at attention, looking thoroughly chastised. It seemed Hoshiguma was in for a rough few days. Speaking of the Oni… why was she missing a shoe?
Over by the actual bar counter, the unmistakable, gratingly enthusiastic voice of Closure cut through the thumping bass. The vampire engineer had shamelessly set up a makeshift merchant stall right in the middle of the party, aggressively hawking questionable merchandise to heavily intoxicated Operators.
But the true centerpiece of the room wasn’t the Doctor’s dancing or Closure’s scamming. It was the massive disco ball suspended from the ceiling, casting dizzying fractures of light over the swaying, raving crowd. The scene could truly be described as a gathering of demons dancing wildly.
Wait. Since when did Rhodes Island have the budget for a disco ball?
Kai squinted, his enhanced vision piercing the glare. That wasn’t a disco ball. That was Elysium’s specialized Catastrophe Messenger Beacon. And crudely duct-taped to its spinning chassis were several highly irregular items: Ceobe’s favorite bronze bell, ACE’s tactical riot shield, and… Hoshiguma’s missing combat boot.
So that’s where her shoe went, Kai realized, a deep sense of despair washing over him.
Rhodes Island is doomed.jpg.
“What’s wrong, Kai?” Rosmontis asked, her voice laced with anxiety as she tugged at his sleeve. Her vision was still blocked by his hand, and the overwhelming noise and flashing lights were making her uncomfortable. She had never liked the dark, nor the chaotic vibrations of a raving crowd.
“N-Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” Kai stammered, smoothly pivoting on his heel. “This place is boring anyway. Let’s go somewhere else. Oh, right! I promised M3 I’d help her with some sketches. Come on, let’s head back to my dorm.”
Without waiting for a response, Kai practically herded Rosmontis and M3 out of the corridor, fleeing the congregation of dancing demons at breakneck speed.
Kai’s dormitory was a sanctuary—the very first stable, permanent residence he had claimed since transmigrating into this unforgiving world. Originally, it had been a temporary holding quarters assigned by HR. But after he officially signed on as an Operator, they had simply transferred the deed to him. The best part? No roommates. Aside from the tragic reality that it was located entirely too far from the cafeteria, it was a flawless slice of paradise.
He slid his keycard through the scanner, the door opening with a pneumatic hiss. Even though he had only been deployed for a few days, stepping back into the quiet room felt like returning from a decade-long exile. He ran a finger along the edge of his desk, pulling it back to reveal a thin layer of gray dust.
“Tsk. Looks like I need to do a sweep first,” Kai muttered, rolling up his sleeves. “Thank the stars I had the foresight to throw dust covers over the bed before we deployed.”
He glanced back at his two companions. “M3, you two grab a seat. I’m going to tidy up the warzone.”
“Do you require assistance?” M3 offered, her posture perfectly straight.
“Nah, I’ve got it. Just keep Xiangxiang company for a bit.” Kai grabbed a broom and a microfiber cloth from the utility closet and got to work.
“Oh… understood,” M3 replied, gracefully taking a seat on the edge of Kai’s freshly uncovered bed. She tilted her head, analyzing the spatial dimensions of the room. This was her first time inside his quarters since transitioning into a human vessel. Why did the room feel so much larger than before? Was it the architectural layout, or simply the fact that she was no longer a towering, crystalline monstrosity?
“Hmm? Rosmontis?” M3 blinked, snapping out of her spatial analysis. She suddenly realized the little Feline had vanished from her side. Glancing down, she spotted Rosmontis crouching at the foot of the bed. With practiced familiarity, the girl popped open a concealed floorboard cabinet, revealing a hidden stash of crinkling snack bags.
“Huh?” M3 tilted her head. She hadn’t even registered the existence of a contraband snack vault in Kai’s room. Then again, under Kal’tsit’s strict dietary regime, M3 had never been exposed to junk food, and Kai had never bothered offering any to a giant summoned beast. Eating would have been logistically impossible in her previous form anyway.
“This is for you, Sister M3,” Rosmontis said softly, waddling over with an armful of colorful packages. She handed a square block of dry instant noodles to M3, then carefully tore open a bag of her own. Sitting perfectly upright on the floor, the little Feline began nibbling on the dry noodles in tiny, mouse-like bites, her large eyes fixed intently on Kai as he swept the floor.
“Huh? This is highly palatable!” M3 exclaimed after mimicking Rosmontis and taking an experimental bite. The artificial MSG flavoring hit her newly formed tastebuds like a freight train. Within seconds, she had crunched her way through the entire block, obliterating the snack with terrifying efficiency.
Rosmontis paused her nibbling, blinking in sheer astonishment. She looked at the small pile of snacks beside her, then at the nearly untouched block in her own hands, and finally at M3’s empty wrapper. Her Feline ears drooped slightly. It seemed… her stash might not survive the night.
“Hmm? You like that stuff too?” Kai asked, pausing his sweeping to lean against the broom handle. “I had Closure smuggle those in for me. They’re called instant noodles. If you want a steady supply, just go to her engineering bay and buy them. Tell her I sent you—that way, she won’t try to pull that ‘limited quantity’ scam on you. I’m running dangerously low on my own reserves.”
“Acknowledged,” M3 said, immediately tearing into a second pack. This time, she made a conscious effort to moderate her intake, taking small, deliberate bites just like Rosmontis.
“Phew! All clean.” Kai tossed the rag aside and wiped a non-existent bead of sweat from his brow. “As the old saying goes, there’s no place like your own doghouse.”
“But… Kai isn’t a Perro,” Rosmontis pointed out, her brow furrowing in genuine confusion. Why would he call his nice room a doghouse?
Kai chuckled, walking over to gently ruffle her silver hair. “It’s just an idiom, Xiangxiang. It means that no matter how luxurious or exciting the outside world is, nothing can ever compare to the comfort of the place you call home.” He effortlessly scooped her up and deposited her onto a plush stool beside his desk.
“Alrighty! The happy, joyous, and highly anticipated drawing session is officially commencing!” Kai announced, plucking a high-grade stylus from his cup. He already had a vivid mental image of the sketches M3 had requested. Little sketch, prepare to be immortalized. The flames of artistic passion are burning! Ohohoho!
“Yay~” Rosmontis let out a soft, breathy cheer. She eagerly grabbed her own set of wax crayons, her mind already bubbling with a special, secret drawing idea of her own.
Sitting on the bed, mechanically munching on her dry instant noodles, M3 watched the two of them hunch over the desk. A sudden, glaring realization crashed through her advanced cognitive processors.
Wait a minute. How did she end up being the only useless one in the room?!
[Rhodes’s Note: “Xiangxiang” is an affectionate nickname Kai uses for Rosmontis. Her Chinese name is Mídiéxiāng (迷迭香), and doubling the last character is a common, endearing way to create a pet name. The idiom Kai uses about the “doghouse” comes from the Chinese proverb “A gold nest or a silver nest is not as good as one’s own doghouse” (East or West, home is best), which confuses Rosmontis since she takes it literally regarding the Perro (dog) race in Terra. “Sister Y.P.” is retained from the raw text, likely a specific nickname or censor used by the author for an established Operator.]