English
Indonesia
Chinese (Simp)
Japanese
Korean
Spanish
Portuguese
French
German
ArabicAnime Crossover: Eating Evil in a Daily World — Chapter 45
Chapter 45: Cruel Exorcism Action Guidelines
“In short, everyone in the club is a weirdo.”
Looking at the dejected Miko Yotsuya, Yozora did not dwell on her crumbling social image and smoothly shifted the topic.
“Therefore, in this club full of eccentric oddballs, we desperately need a diplomatic ambassador. We need a friendly face responsible for allowing hesitant students to safely submit their requests regarding supernatural events.”
Yozora had given this structural flaw a lot of thought.
As for the three current members of the club, his own reputation went without saying; normal people would cross the street just to avoid making eye contact with him. Miko Yotsuya’s public image was that of an expressionless, cold beauty who exuded an aloof aura, making her completely unapproachable to the average student.
Then there was Rio Futaba. Letting her analyze data in a lab coat was fine, but asking her to socialize with strangers? That was a disaster waiting to happen.
Yui Yuigahama, however, was a completely different species.
She possessed a naturally warm and inviting aura. Combined with her lively personality and cute appearance, she put people at ease the moment she spoke. Whenever anyone talked with Yui, their guard naturally dropped.
Since this club was established to farm information, Yozora naturally wanted as many students as possible to come knocking with their supernatural problems. The cheerful, sunny Yui was the perfect bridge connecting their group of weirdos to the rest of the student body.
One could never underestimate the value of the social glue in a chaotic party. Chai Jin the Little Whirlwind funding the 108 outlaws, Lu Su playing the exhausted diplomat for Eastern Wu, and Tang Seng acting as the pure-hearted bait for his monstrous disciples on the journey to the West—these were all indispensable figures.
“Eh, can I really do it? Okay, okay!”
Yui did not hesitate for more than a second, nodding her head vigorously to agree.
She was an incredibly gentle girl, the kind who habitually put the needs of others before her own. There was no need for her to weigh the pros and cons of joining the Supernatural Quantum Mechanics Investigation and Research Club. Yozora and Miko needed her help, and for Yui, being needed was a completely sufficient reason.
“OK, welcome aboard.” Yozora clapped his hands together, a sudden spark of inspiration hitting him. “In that case, as a specialized supernatural investigation team, every member needs a codename!”
“A codename?”
“That’s right. A secret, highly classified codename.”
Excitement immediately sparkled in Yui’s eyes. “Although I don’t really know what that entails, I feel like… it sounds super cool!”
Seeing the bubbly girl get swept up in the pacing, Miko shook her head with a heavy sigh. Why did it feel like Yozora’s abstract chuunibyou symptoms were highly contagious?
‘Stop right there, Yui! What lies before you is a path of no return!’
“Then it’s decided. Your codename is Dango!” Yozora pointed at Yui.
“Dango?”
“Yes, because your hair is tied up in a bun. Short, sweet, and to the point. Dango.”
Immediately after, Yozora shifted his gaze to the speechless Miko. “And your codename is Crybaby!”
“I refuse.” Miko crossed her arms, her expression a mask of pure resistance. “Even if I am forced to have a codename, I am deciding it myself.”
“Fine, then think of one yourself.”
Miko blinked, suddenly stunned.
Wait a minute. Why did it feel like she had just fallen into a trap? If he had just told her directly to pick a codename, she would have flatly refused to participate in such a childish game. How did it suddenly turn into her actively fighting for the right to name herself?
Yozora looked at her as if he had expected this exact outcome, nodding with deep satisfaction.
The famous author Lu Xun once said that human nature is inherently prone to compromise. If you propose tearing off the roof, people will violently object. But if you then suggest merely opening a window, they will gladly agree.
By threatening Miko with the atrocious title of ‘Crybaby’, she instantly compromised and demanded the right to name herself.
‘Lu Xun: I didn’t say that… wait, I actually did say that.’
“Then my codename… hmm…” Miko tapped her chin, thinking carefully. “It shouldn’t be too conspicuous, and it has to be something I can actually be called in front of outsiders without dying of embarrassment. How about… Psychic.”
After securing a relatively normal title, Miko looked up with a trace of curiosity. “What about yours?”
Facing the expectant gazes of both Yui and Miko, Yozora leaned back and spoke with absolute solemnity.
“My codename is Butter Shooter.”
The two girls stared at him in dead silence.
Not only was the meaning of this title completely baffling, but why did it carry such a heavy, greasy Western fantasy flavor?
“Let’s forget about the codename thing entirely.” Miko immediately tried to shut it down. She did not dare let Yozora keep that name. She understood his twisted logic too well. If she let him keep it, she and Yui would actually have to call him ‘Butter Shooter’ in public.
“Your codename will be Captain,” Miko declared, leaving no room for argument.
Yozora shrugged casually. “That’s fine too, as long as it’s not Boss.”
With their respective titles settled, Yozora laid out the specific operational guidelines for the Supernatural Investigation Club.
Diplomatic Ambassador Yui was responsible for communicating with students who wanted to post supernatural requests and filtering the initial information. The requests she accepted would then be visually confirmed by Miko. If an evil spirit was actually present, it would be marked for elimination.
Of course, Yozora was fully aware that Miko’s current combat strength was practically zero.
To solve this, he assigned his best and only employee, the towering Hachishaku, to act as Miko’s shadow. Hachishaku would ensure Miko survived the beginner phase, gradually molding her into a highly efficient tool… no, a proper Exorcist, by constantly feeding the lesser spirits to her Hyakume.
As for the codenames, while they started as Yozora’s temporary whim, they were not entirely useless chuunibyou nonsense. When surrounded by ordinary students, using codenames acted as a verbal trigger. It allowed the members to signal that a supernatural event was occurring right in front of them without causing a public panic.
As for Yozora’s own role, he was responsible for dealing with the high-risk doors that Miko could not handle, and taking his nightly strolls to his favorite all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant, the Inner World Kyoto, to gorge himself to his heart’s content.
A peaceful week passed in the blink of an eye.
“It’s finally the weekend,” Yui said languidly, stretching her arms above her head as the afternoon sun filtered into the classroom.
But as she walked toward the back corner, she noticed Miko staring at her phone screen with a heavy, pale expression, whispering something urgent to Yozora.
Curious, Yui leaned over to peek at the screen. It was a live breaking news broadcast, the tense voice of the reporter echoing from the small speaker.
“Right now, inside the Kyoto Municipal Kindergarten, a total of 450 students, 25 teachers, and dozens of school staff members are trapped within the campus grounds.”
“The police are currently negotiating with the kidnappers. According to reliable sources, there are approximately twenty hostiles, all armed with firearms and heavy weaponry. Their mental states are reported to be highly unstable.”
“To ensure the safety of the hostages, the police do not intend to launch a forceful breach at this time.”
On the live broadcast, all Yui could see was the barricaded front gate of the kindergarten and the empty playground equipment sitting on the open concrete.
But as a Psychic, Miko saw something entirely different.
Right in the middle of the open playground, a massive, grotesque door was already halfway open, bleeding a dark, unnatural aura into the real world.
“What should we do?” Miko asked, her brows furrowed in deep anxiety.
Watching the screen, Yozora slowly stood up from his chair. He stretched his neck, let out a lazy yawn, and smiled. It was not a heroic smile, but the grin of a predator looking at a fresh plate of food.
“Need you ask?” Yozora chuckled. “Not letting a single evil spirit go. That is my absolute code of conduct.”
[Inorin’s Note:
1. Chai Jin, Lu Su, and Tang Seng: Famous figures from the classic Chinese novels Water Margin, Romance of the Three Kingdoms, and Journey to the West, respectively. Yozora is comparing Yui to these characters because they all acted as the essential “glue,” diplomats, or pure-hearted sponsors that kept their chaotic groups of warriors and monsters together.
2. Lu Xun’s Window and Roof: A famous psychological observation by the Chinese writer Lu Xun, describing the “door-in-the-face” technique. He wrote that if you ask people to open a window, they will refuse; but if you threaten to tear off the roof, they will compromise and gladly open the window.]