Genshin Impacti: This Priest is Cringe, But She's Also Unbeatable — Chapter 88

Chapter 88: Grandma’s Youth Scrapbook? This War is Unwinnable!

Eldara took a moment to compose herself, seemingly weighing her words before she continued.

“After discovering the album was missing, Her Majesty the Elf Queen immediately dispatched an envoy.”

“She expressed her desire to retrieve it to the human royal family, doing so gently and in private. She even promised to provide a certain… compensation for its return.”

“Then why didn’t the human king give it back?” Selene finally couldn’t hold it in any longer. She poked her head out from behind her sister, asking the question that was on everyone’s mind.

Eldara’s gaze swept over the young girl, and for the first time, the emotion in her scarlet eyes became unprecedentedly complex.

“Because the human king also looked at that album.”

“And then?” Selene pressed, leaning forward.

“And then,” Eldara stated, her voice flat, “he angrily accused our race of attempting to tarnish his ancestor’s reputation through ‘despicable, forged means’.”

“He declared that we intended to use this to blackmail his kingdom and interfere with its internal affairs.”

Her tone was utterly devoid of inflection, as if she were recounting a historical event that had nothing to do with her.

“So he refused to return the album. Using this as an excuse, he brazenly launched a war, declaring he would ‘defend human dignity’.”

She paused for a beat before adding, “At the same time, His Majesty the King seems to be extremely troubled and angry about the… generational relationship revealed by the images.”

Celeste had been holding it in for a long, long time, but that last line was the final straw.

Pfft.

Her lips twitched, the corners of her mouth curling upward uncontrollably as a snort of laughter escaped her. She nearly burst out laughing right there.

‘What kind of epic, melodramatic family soap opera is this!’ she screamed internally.

Her gamer brain instantly translated the situation into modern slang: ‘My great-great-grandpappy had a fling with your Elf Queen? And based on the family tree, that means I have to call you Grandma? Get outta here! This trashy home movie has to be a deepfake cooked up by you elves! You guys are totally toxic!'”So,” Celeste forced herself to calm down, beginning to untangle the absolute mess of a situation, “the current state of affairs is that the Elf Queen wants to quietly get her’youth scrapbook’ back.”

“And the human king adamantly refuses to admit it’s real, feeling that you’re insulting his ancestor, while also having a complete meltdown because he’s been inexplicably demoted by, like, five generations?”

“And because of that, the two sides are just… stuck in a deadlock?”

Eldara gave a slight, almost imperceptible nod.

“Basically, yes.”

“Her Majesty the Elf Queen does not deny that experience; it was merely a single chapter in her long life. But she hopes this matter can be resolved with minimal cost, rather than escalating into a full-blown war.”

Celeste was genuinely impressed. ‘Holy crap! The Elf Queen not only lived a wild life when she was young, but she’s even willing to own up to it now? Mad respect!’

“The human king’s reaction… is overly intense and irrational,” Su Wan finally found her voice, though it sounded a bit dry.

“So, your army pressing on the border is actually to… exert pressure and force the human king to return the album?”

“It is to demonstrate resolve, not to declare war,” Eldara corrected her calmly. “The mission of the Silent Watch is to ensure Her Majesty’s will is conveyed, and to eliminate… interfering factors that might lead the situation toward unnecessary bloodshed.”

Her gaze swept meaningfully over the mangled remains of the undead creatures scattered across the canyon floor.

“Such as these dregs, who try to fish in troubled waters or exploit the tense situation to achieve their own filthy goals.”

Celeste stroked her chin, the picture becoming crystal clear in her mind.

The elves didn’t want to fight; they just wanted to intimidate the king into returning their queen’s embarrassing old photos.

The humans didn’t dare to fight, but for the sake of royal pride and the whole generational fiasco, they were digging their heels in to the bitter end.

‘One side is pretending they’re ready to flip the table, and the other is pretending they’re not afraid of the table being flipped. So they’re just staring at each other. Classic.’

And in the middle of this standoff, opportunistic vultures like the undead were trying to swoop in and profit from the chaos at the border.

She and Su Wan exchanged a look, and in that single glance, they reached a complete consensus.

They hadn’t come here to act as babysitters for some tantrum-throwing human king and fight his “genealogy defense war.”

The fact that the ancestor of this Domain’s king had a steamy affair with the Elf Queen—what the hell did that have to do with her, a transmigrator from Blue Star? She didn’t even know what this king looked like.

Their primary mission was to find the secret realm’s core and purify this “Shattered Covenant” Domain. Getting tangled up in an “international dispute sparked by an ancestor’s dark history” was a colossal waste of time.

Suppressing the overwhelming urge to laugh, Celeste put on her most serious and professional expression and addressed Eldara.

“I understand. Thank you for sharing the inside story with us. Regarding this… internal matter of yours, we truly have no intention of getting involved.”

‘Are you kidding me? Whoever wants to clean up this mess can have at it. I just want to find the core, finish the job, and go home.’

Eldara seemed quite satisfied with Celeste’s tactful response. The overbearing, chilling aura she projected receded slightly.

“However,” Celeste’s tone shifted, her eyes suddenly burning with a sincere, focused light as she looked at the death knight. “Since we have inadvertently been dragged into this turmoil, staying completely out of it is probably unrealistic. Perhaps, as outsiders with no ties to either side, we can offer some modest assistance.”

“What do you mean?” Eldara’s scarlet eyes narrowed, her gaze sharpening as if she were re-evaluating the human standing before her.

“We want to see the Elf Queen,” Celeste said, looking straight into those ruby-like eyes, enunciating every word with perfect clarity.

“We have something very important that must be confirmed with her in person.”

Eldara fell silent. The wind picked up again in the canyon, whipping through her long, silver hair and causing her dark cloak to billow.

“Very well.” She finally nodded. With a single, swift, and elegant movement, she mounted her skeletal steed.

The Skeleton Warhorse let out a low, guttural whinny and turned around.

“Follow me,” her cold voice commanded from horseback. “I will take you to the nearest elven outpost. As for whether you can see Her Majesty the Elf Queen, that will depend on her willingness… and the weight of what you have to say.”

Celeste let out a quiet sigh of relief internally and glanced back at the caravan members.

The Stout Captain and his men were still reeling from the massive information bomb that had just been dropped, their faces a collective mask of dumbfounded shock.

Celeste cupped her hands in a gesture of farewell. “Everyone, take care on the rest of your journey.”

“It seems this is where we part ways.”

With that, she motioned for her sister and teammates to follow, and they fell in line behind the silent troop of death knights.

The rhythmic clatter of the Skeleton Warhorses’ iron-shod hooves echoed through the canyon once more, crisp and steady. This time, they headed toward the opposite end of the pass, into the territory controlled by the elves.

Su Wan hurried her steps to walk beside Celeste, lowering her voice. “Do you think the Elf Queen is connected to the secret realm’s core?”

“Not sure,” Celeste admitted, shaking her head, though her gaze remained fixed on the tall, silver-armored figure riding ahead. “But she’s one of the key figures in the breaking of this ‘Covenant,’ and she’s the supreme leader of the elven faction. If we’re going to get any clues about the true nature of this Domain, she’s our best bet.”

Xia Lian trotted to catch up, her voice laced with unconcealable anxiety. “Sister Celeste, are we really going into elf territory? Will it be dangerous?”

Celeste looked at Eldara’s imposing back and smiled. “Oh, there will definitely be danger.”

“But compared to staying on the human side and getting dragged into a war sparked by an ‘ancestor’s romantic home movie’…”

She paused, her tone becoming exceptionally relaxed, almost cheerful. “I’d much rather go and see for myself what kind of legendary figure that ‘wild-in-her-youth’ Elf Queen really is.”

Selene nodded vigorously, her eyes sparkling with pure, unadulterated excitement. “Sister, do you think we’ll get a chance to see that magic album?”

Celeste: “…”

Su Wan: “…”

Xia Lian’s cheeks flushed bright red, and she reached out to gently tug on Selene’s sleeve, a silent plea for her to be quiet.

At the very front of the column, Eldara’s heavily-armored shoulders seemed to stiffen, an almost imperceptible tightening.

[Ding! The Host has successfully guided the team toward a more fun (~~crossed out~~) more likely to reach the core route, and has developed inappropriate curiosity about the “Elf Queen’s Youth Scrapbook”. Elation Coins +233!]

Celeste looked up at the sky, a deep sense of weariness washing over her. From its very foundations, there wasn’t a single normal thing about this Domain.

‘Oh, well,’she thought with a mental shrug.’Since it’s already a chaotic mess, might as well stir the pot a little more.’

Time to go meet the “Grandma” who had the current human king spiraling into a rage. Maybe she could even farm another wave of Elation Coins out of it